Red White and Brusied 2010 Promo Discussion Thread...

[™S. nay-rappeX taMmeT]

maybe a bearhug that inflicts death due to asphixiation

[iMatt]

I'd like a hug....from a woman with big jugs.

[jabberwocky]

This what you had in mind Matt?

[iMatt]

^I'd have to get a better look at the boobs to decide in the meantime I'll drink those beers to get to them.

[L.A.I.N.E.Y.]

i think if you drank all those, she'd look like Salma Hayek

[Wolf]

:moz:

Since, Kellie closed Pandora's box opened by iMAtt we can get back to topic of this thread.... i enjoyed it

Ashley vs Devin: This is my favorite promo contest from thenight even with Boudry vs. Big G. The story you two told was great. The 29 problems and b*tch ain't one was great. I may be mistaken, but does it have origin in hip hop? I think I heard something similiar somewhere, anyway you started in a good fashion explaining, what is Devin doing in a strip club going down to his laudry list. Such a troubled man belongs to Strip Club, then exposing Ash as attention whore was priceless. Everything he does is to get attention, since nobody cares about him any longer good stuff. Ash, just awesome. I loved the way you delivered the whole she loves me, she loves me not. This promo was poetry! Every word and every line was great. It was a promo you could easlly see on RAW and you would say that the guy has great promo skills and puts emotions in his work.

[G-Rich]

Anthony: Solid promo. I really like how you respect the title a whole lot and know that the TV Title is the first step on your path to the top. Talking about Philadelphia’s history was a nice touch as well with the setting. You took a little shot at KJ Fonz/Sync by questioning if he’d be a reliable champion. Nice way to bring the real life FWA story into the promo there. “Trust comes with time, and with trust comes more chances.” Story of the FWA right there. How it should be. I feel like that paragraph really sums up the feelings of the FWA as a whole right now. Nice job with that. The rest was good and you’ve improved a lot. I’m expecting a good title run from you. Too bad none of the opponents promo’d.

Killemall/Eyesensane: Pretty generic and unoriginal for the most part, but you’ve definitely improved a lot since you first started. You’re getting better, but you still need to incorporate more meaning into your promos and more effective themes and dialogue. Try new concepts when you write your promos.

G-Rich: What I need to explain is that I’m sure that a lot of people won’t really like this promo, because it’s long and has many parts, but I’m not intending on this being a ‘promo’ per-se. It’s a character study of the REAL G-Rich. Not me, but my character’s real life. His personal life and emotions were exposed in the Anniversary match years ago and now I’m basically picking up from there when Boudreau was announced with having The Indellacy. I’m not trying to be G-Rich the big bad businessman here, I’m trying to show the behind-the-scenes emotional wreck that my character is. He is insecure and lonely and obviously afraid of dying, which is the central theme. I hope you all enjoyed it.

Wolf: This is your 4th match already? Sheesh that’s a lot. I love the children’s line. Very creative and you made it work perfectly. But makes you an expert on what sends chills down Nemesis’ spine and what doesn’t? The paragraph of the children changing from innocent to demented and Wolf appearing with “mind games” was great. Really played your character well there. Great job throughout the promo showing his animalistic tendencies. Really not much to say here other than another great promo by you. You’re consistent and reliable.

Boudreau: Well what do you expect me to say? This was impeccable. You showed without a doubt why you are the best writer in the history of the FWA. The more I read your promos the more I can see how you’re an English teacher. You have a wonderful way with words that makes every sentence smooth and refined. Now, while I remove my mouth a bit further away from your penis… I also like how you did a timeline of events of sorts with your promo. Similar to mine, but I mean that basically is sort of a Boudreau custom. This feud has been great, and a lot more thought out than people think. We knew that we were going to face each other, like what? 9 months ago? And we’ve been subtly planning ever since then. Whether it be subtle interactions on FN or CF or dropping hints in promos or what not, we quietly laid groundwork to what would be the biggest match of all time. And now, with these two promos, we’ve lived up to all of our work. The well you’ve built on your prophecy saying that you must face G-Rich before you die was tremendous, and awfully complicated. I love your passages and prophecies and sayings and what not and they all flow together very nicely. Now, after reading yours and reading mine… our promos go absolutely PERFECTLY together. More perfect I would say than anyone elses. Whether it be the Roger Schwartz segments, the me being afraid to see you, or you being upset that I don’t see you. You saying that God meant for us to face each other, me saying that I don’t believe in God, but if he does exist that hopefully Boudreau, as an angel, will help G-Rich right his wrongs. You saying you’re the best, and basically G-Rich agreeing. We can look at every aspect of our promos and combine them together and create an amazing promo. I didn’t want just a match, or just a promo. I wanted two stories, and I got that. I just never predicted how well they would play off each other. I’m glad you knocked me down a few pegs in your promo, because realistically I’ve never been a good champion, and my best work has come during great storylines like UU and now this. When I finished writing my promo, and when I read yours, not gonna lie, I felt genuine emotion. I’ve invested a lot of time into this character and so have you. I am fucking sad as hell that Boudreau is leaving, because he is the best. I felt, for a moment in time, that I was ‘G-Rich’ and you were ‘Boudreau.’ “The Richest Man in Wrestling’ and ‘The Idol.’ Our promos, collectively, were that good. As was this story, and as were our careers. Everything about this has been amazing, and I know that you will make the match amazing too.

[G-Rich]

Servin: Great emotion in the beginning of the promo. You really captured his sadness and remorse there. Whenever I write my promos I try to write them so emotion is noticeable, and you certainly did that. Your feud with Jack has been great and you’ve risen through the ranks quite a bit. This is a former World Champ you’re feuding with, and this promo right here showed that you can hold your own against the big dogs. I like the sides of him. Red and blue. Warm and gentle mixed with the cold and bitter. Some great dialogue about Jack and Nathalie. You guys have done wonders with this feud. The more I read, the more I like it. There is meaning and emotion throughout the whole promo and your dialogue is getting much better. After seeing this promo I can’t see you being weighed down at all. You’ll get some good opportunities soon.

Drew Jolson: Pretty sure you weren’t trying to win a match lol.

Princeton: G-Rich would have that limo driver waiting there for him, and certainly wouldn’t give him 5 minutes time! This showed Princeton’s character well, as you always do in the promo, but I really didn’t think that it was anything special. Not much creativity either. I didn’t really understand why he went to the owner of the Wachovia Center at the beginning. Was there a specific purpose? Was it character development to show how influential Princeton is? I liked your rant on Philly and you had solid dialogue against Wolf, but Wolf put out a beaut and idk if this is gonna be able to top that.

Cameron Cross: Lady GuyGuy. Nice haha. Good job ranting on XXX about being an uninteresting rich guy and comparing him to G-Rich and Princey. You took some nice shots at him there. I really like your progress and I found the whole promo to be entertaining. You had good dialogue in there and played your face character well. I think that you have a legitimate shot at this title and once you add more character depth and substance you’ll be on your way to the next level.

Nameless: Props to you for doing 3 promos for this show my man. Just is a testament to your unwavering hard work. Very interesting promo concept here. Shows the weirdness of Nameless by going to a Medium to look into the future. “My brush was pain and I used only the color red.” This was a great promo from a managerial aspect and I’m interested in seeing how your match turns out between Sara and Nameless. The build up, although brief, has been very good and I’m sure that you’ll write one hell of a match.

Gabby: You need to fix the title… it didn’t get the tan color working right. Ha, gotta love the lesbians! Poor cameraguy. Great job describing Jenny and Gabby as they walk out from the water. I honestly could envision them in my mind after reading that. The Gabby being held down by Jolson talk really reminds me of the Jillian/G-Rich feud where Jillian felt held down and suppressed for being a woman. Very similar feelings here. I love this battle between the two “divine” wrestlers Gabby and Drazin. Both think that they are a God/Goddess and believe that the other is false. Who will win out and prove their divinity? You tore Drazina new asshole for not accomplishing much in the FWA and beign a glorified loser and I loved every bit of it. Some great dialogue in there. I’d love to see a Gabby vs Drazin vs Porter vs Creed match in the future. I mean they’re the big 4 right now on FN and that’d be a very competitive match which anyone could win. I love how you play the character with Jenny in the background and rubbing yourself and moaning. This was an extremely entertaining promo and this match will be close.

[The Golden One]

Finally getting a chance to do some reviews with downtime at work:

XXX - Holy shit you're funny. Like, this character basically combines The Miz with early Chris Jericho. It was actually really funny and some of the things you say are really witty. "Hugh Hefner gets my leftovers!" Omg. Wow! Also, the Max Payne line was golden. It just seems to flow in your writing and delivery, which adds points imo. If a promo seems like it can be delivered without a hitch on tv, then it's a well written promo. "Why did the chicken cross the road?..." just an incredible ending to a GREAT X-title promo.

Anthony: You promo week after week without thinking twice. You have become one of the most dependable people in FWA and it is amazing to see you're hard work paying off. Well done and congratulations on being the TV champ. Don't look at it like you won because they didn't promo. It was a fantastic, defiant, definitive, strong-worded promo that shows Anthony as a confident competitor and it would've been a very tough promo to beat. You're the TV champ, and your reign is going to be a good one.

G-Rich: I'm speechless. The scenes. The description. I haven't read Matty B's promo yet, just skimmed. This promo was more than a promo. This promo was a story. This promo told a story to the reader, much more than any other promo I have ever read. There was nothing about how you would beat Boudreau, but I don't think there needed to be. This match isn't about winning and losing, it's about a friendship and the fact that they ARE wrestling...even though a month ago no one thought it would happen. The story told of the characters road to get here; the stages of grief in dying...it was all pieces to a puzzle, something I tried to do and failed at Betrayal. Well done.

Wolf: The kids singing their song is by far the best opening/intro to one of your promos ever. I loved that. I think of the beginning to a horror movie commercial. Very strong and then the "I like myself" aspect. I liked how you kept referring to the voices in your head. I also liked how you said that Princeton "could suplex you all over Canada", but it basically doesnt matter who the better technical wrestler is because Wolf's brutality and pain threshold will be the prevailing force. Also, stating that Wolf's only care is beating Princeton...and G-Rich and Boudreau don't matter. Very heel-ish.

Princeton: I liked the attempt to tie in Wachovia Bank with Wolf's title reign, but it was somewhat of a stretch. Wachovia Bank being bought out and still keeping their name...even though they aren't the actual owners. It's a nice try but I think another metaphor could have been used. Still creative, though. I think Princeton uses the in-ring promos too much. He works well in them, but for title matches at a PPV, i think it shouldn't be used, considering princeton uses this type of promo setting in the majority of his promos. PPV title matches deserve special settings.

Now, I did think the way with words was strong and when comparing Princeton's promo to Wolf's, Princeton definitely looks like the "smarter" competitor and Wolf the more "brutal" competitor. Also, the part about "still bein g here tomorrow and the next day" compared to Jackson...was very strong.


That's all for now.

[™S. nay-rappeX taMmeT]

wolf: love beginning with quotes, but only if executed properly. u execute properly... say this every time with your promos: descriptions amazing. just great. and your use of the english language: DAMN. "Such sweet voices, with such evil words." awesome. wolf is so interesting. might seem like an odd comparison, but he reminds me of King Lear, once he goes crazy. like how the humor is incorporated as well, with the mclean comment. your promo concepts are usaully always great: this one is no different. ging back to the quote, relating the promo to that not only makes for interesting reading, but also contributes to Wolf's deep character. Wolf's intensity is always off teh charts. love that. teh capped lines kick ass every time. i think everything you said here was needed. teh relation of cursed bloodline to chasing cars was great, and i also enjoyed how wolf admits that princeton is probably as ready as he ever will be, but still, that wont be enough. another good promo


anthony: began with a tremendous quote. like i said with wolf, simple, yet very obvious and effective how it will relate to the promo and the match. grteat job there. i always like how you mention other big mtches that are on the particular card. it puts over not only your promo, but the event as a whole. always a good idea. keep that up, imo, but dont wear it out, at the same time.. moderation... dialogue starts off broad, about the place the ppv is taking place at. good stuff again, da. then you get right to it, talking about your opponents. one thing ill mention at this point for areas to improve: your descriptions between dialogue: make them more detailed, and more descriptive... everything you said about opponents was spot on. you never shit on them completely, but still find a way to put them down, while putting yourself over. the stuff about fonz getting a title shot so soon was good and logical, and real. anthony's determination shines thorough. whether your opponents promoed or not, this would probly have been a winner, in my eyes. keep improving man. youre doing great.



drazin: nice intro that gets me into the promo, using what i assume is a quote from gabby and her famous bible. got some talk about severino here, which was good, doing relations with gabby. sexual innuendos are coming up lol. good how you ran her down, saying shes already been beaten by drazin and cant redeem that loss. and of course, the divinity talk. he pisses; no big shocker there lol. the disrespect shines through with drazin... a pretty average drazin promo, imo. something ive noticed about some drazin promos is that the dialogue starts as if hes been talking for a while already. try to get more of a flow. more of intro to his speech. good job.



g-rich: i cant say anything that does this promo justice. my favorite promo of all time was your third anniversary one, but that has been topped with this one. AMAZING. there have only been two promos that i have been emotionally invested in, the two i just named, but this one went above and beyond everything. this story is amazing between G and B. there is nothing else like it. and the side of the story you told here with your character was awesome. we saw the real man. who would have known g-rich actually felt this way? nobody. the way he appears on screen is the total opposite. but here, he opens up, completely, and it was incredible. man, the way you used flashbacks, oh my god. i dont know what to say. lol. i dont care if this seems like i am kissing your ass. dont care at all. you are the man. the sense of how he is alone, the way you bold the word. its subtle things like that i love. if that word HADN'T been bold, the sense of alone-ness would have never been as impactful. dividing the promo into sections, around 5 stages of grief. again: terrific. and you deisplayed each stage/emotion perfectly. i love how he didnt believe the indellacy at first, thought it was a story, then finds out it isnt story at all. great... teh part where you go back to father bernadere. MAN!!! I ALMOST SHIT WHEN I READ THAT. that right there, was a brilliant idea, greg. one of teh most memorable things in FWA, and it brought it right around again. reading this, it all seemed real. it really did. this is by far the best thing i've done in the FWA, or on the internet in general. we`ve made characters. awesome characters. and a story. and then i get to the end, Rich`s actual words, the promo, on Boudreau. So great. SO great.

our promos work hand in hand. one can not be read without the other. you wont get it that way. they are mirror images, without even knowing it, man. all the flashback, that lead to the final promo on one another. the use of roger`s death. how this has all lead us here. how rich says he is looking for a path, but was on one all along. how boudreau is everything that g-rich wants to be, and how g-rich was everything that boudreau wanted to be. the respect. the acceptance. the way we break character, but at the same time, stay in character. these are two pieces of art man. i really think that.



boudreau: unlike any other promo iv ever written, i wanted to wrap things up here. hopefully i did that, with showing the birth, ending the indellacy journals, and wrapping up promos from the past, that obviously were "cut off" before ending. when i wrote that promo for desert storm 2009, i purposely put g-rich in it to come back to it in the future. i didnt know it'd be a match, but i knew i could use it later. and did so here. also, the porter bit. that was planned all along too, and golden noticed it when i first posted it. well, ya, wrapped that up as well. i wanted all this to contreibute to the 'prophetic' ability of boudreau. and of course, the prohpecy, which states directly what was going to happen, but disguised with the way words are spelled and what not.

the indellacy stuff during the 'porter' act was kind of a shoot. that was not obvious, which was the point.

the stuff after birthday celebration could also be classified as a "shoot" in that *I* meant what boudreau said. teh real me was speaking through boudreau. just like in the porter bit, to an extent.

i also tried to incorporate every "type" of promo ive ever written:
- natural setting diaolgue
- indellacy journal
- flashbacks
- prophecy
- 2nd person POV
- shoot style
- dream
- etc, etc

[Wolf]

G Rich- You really topped your forgotten promo. The story was awesome. I am always the one, who has issues with multiple scenes in one promo, but this time I loved it. Every single scene did what it should have done from Christmas scene to cementary scene. It didn't even felt as long. I skimmed trough the promo wanting to prepare myself for that read, but as I started reading it I was completlly lost in the story and couldn't believe I came to end so quicklly. The whole story starting with denial. It shows there the signs of G Rich's fear and, what you wanted to build into calling Robinson saying it is no storyline. Finally, coming peace with the fact that death is real trying to fight it with looking to cure for Idellancy only to find out that even the richest man in pro wrestling can be powerless. Going back to the church promo, where you hit the priest was amazing. I was like 'holy shit' your third legendary promo. Exposing yourself to be the man with nothing, while Matt Boudreau has it all was fantastic. The lonelliness of G Rich got me. There is a lot of cementary promos here, but you put shadow on all of them. What i liked was the fact that you didn't took anything from Boudreau. You gave him every accolade he deserves unlike Boudry taking away from his reigns, while G Rich openlly admits that he wasn't the greatest FWA champion was nice touch. You showed why you will miss him so much. That he was the one of your friends, who should have stood by your side until your final days. Not Hall, not Ant, but Matt. I don't think that I have ever given edge to opponent of Matt Boudrea until this day. I really can see you winning this one.