FWA 5/20/2011 Promo Discussion Thread

[Dr Nash]

Discuss Promos Heres. Don't Ask For A Review If You Are Not Willing To Give One Yourself. Once Last Things Please Do Enjoy Yourself

[Stratusphere]

Sorry, I, Alexx, will need an extension I have a few exams, but I'll be ready wednesday!

[The Full Time Shakey]

Matt granted me an extension just as the card was put up - in the sb, Matt can confirm this.

[Killswitch]

First round of promo reviews: (Seeing as I am not doing much and I want to start so I am not overwhelmed.)

Johnny Octane: The more I read your promos the more I am intrigued. The soccer game didn't seem like it needed to be in the promo but strangely it did work. The text message at the end of the promo was pretty good as it left a cliff hanger. Good promo.

Nolee Lacorix: Short promo. What you had was good but build on that. I would have liked to seen a lot more, and it is tough in that type of match but I thought that you could have done more with it.

Sara Wolf: Nice to see you promoing with her again. Problem is that the promo started with so much heat and so much flare that I wanted to have that feeling stay, but to be honest I started to lose it near the end, I just think that the promo went on to long and it lost a lot of its momentum. It was still a good promo though.

Eyesnsane: You have gotten better and better. Good promo from you again and you hit XXX pretty hard good job.

Thomas Princeton: Good promo from you. I liked the flashback and I also liked the bashing you did. That is the thing that Princeton is best at and hell it makes you hate him. He is one guy in the FWA that I could truly never see as a face.

Chris Kennedy: This is why you are one of the best up and coming stars in the FWA. Another great promo from you and I can see you as World Champion sometime soon and I mean that.

[iMatt]

Johnny Octane: This was an interesting but nicely done promo. I liked the soccer game it gave Octane depth and also really established Octane as the new blood in OTE giving him added dimension which is always important for a rookie like yourself, I feel I am getting to know Octane better and that isn't always easy when a new guy is in a stable.

Nolee: This gave me a snippet of Nolee's personality and how she is going to approach matches like this, she is a fun loving girl for sure. I think for an opponent like Maddie you needed to add more. Maddie is the one who should have a hard time writing a promo she has nothing to go off of yet, but you have over a year's worth of research you could have pulled up on Maddie. This isn't a bad promo but I want to tell you this now so one day you can make extraordinary promos.

Sara Wolf: Thank goodness you are rping with her again she is a fun character. I loved the Cinderella Redgrave line, what a great image to invoke! KS mentioned in his review that this went on a bit long, and I agree that it did BUT I dont think its that's long I was not bored by rp, I think it could have gotten the point across sooner, actually it did you peaked somewhere in the middle and should have wrapped after that but you kept going just a bit too far. That being said this is still a solid promo and Dinorah has her work cut out for her.

Eyesnsane: This was a rough promo in the good way, a good way for Eyes to really put himself out there show brand and stable superiority and also you went after XXX a guy whom you've had no interaction or history with quite well. Good work.

Chris Kennedy: Lol at the opening with Kennedy and Zaire. Liked the dialogue between the two felt natural. Liked the metaphors used in this promo especially the focus on evolution you really nailed it for the promo and made it strong and engaging. Not to continue the hyping of you up because you still have work to do, for example the poem/song lyrics at the beginning weren't need and felt arbitrary. At least to me but KS is right, you're on your way to becoming one of the top dogs.

APAB: It happens rarely and for a good reason, but its always interesting to see someone promo against themselves in a sense. APAB vs. Carmine for that segment of the promo was odd to read in a way but you worked the line pretty well. I thought you had some good attacks, your kept the promo short but had enough meat to take some nice jabs at your opponents. Not the best APAB promo but its good to see a solid promo from these guys.

[Engaged To Ouellet]

Deadline Has Expired.
Only Those with An Extension Can Post Below

Isn't there another day befoe the regular deadline passes?

[Death Approaches]

^^Yeah, that seemed kind of weird for me

But considering midnight is when the day changes, it was how it should be... hmm... always get confused with these things, hence why I hate to do it last minute

[DramaShark]

Yeah I thought the regular deadline wasn't until 12pm, I'm confused. So with the extension we have till midnight tonight, correct?

Oh, I had asked for an extension but I only see Kennedy on the extension list but not Dinorah. The requested extension was for both my characters, just wanted to clarify

[tmnt316]

Yeah for some reason I thought it was tonight too, that's why I never went and double checked the promos until today, serves me right for waiting, still no idea why the damn thing didn't post, but no excuses my own dumb fault for not looking sooner.

[Death Approaches]

Will edit with more reviews later guys, I can't promise I will review every single promo but I will try to do my best

Eyesnsane: I always follow your characters cause you make really interesting roleplays all over. This promo was an example of it. You didn't have to have a flashy scene to catch my attention, it was a really good showing that you do pay attention to Crossfire unlike some of us from Fight Night (*Coughs* Guilty as charged *Cough*). THis was a very good ripping of XXX, I liked the way it all turned out, you used what he said against him and that is always a smart move in my book. I saw a couple of minor spelling errors but we all have them. I didn't quite figure out why the first scene, yes it showed that he didn't care about money or what people could do and maybe a potential to extend Killemall's story but other than that it made no sense to me. But overall the roleplay was great and 'Tonight, you will be the prey feasted on by the FWA’s Lion.' awesome ending line, keep up the great work Eyes, you are only on your way up.

Nolee: This was a great start to a promo, but it would have been better a little bit longer. I think it needs overall more substance to be a bit better, where you could start is trying to research a bit more about your opponent, try to look what they have done, kinda like digging the dirt. That way you'll get more material and overall can write more substance in the promo. Secondly, try and work on the descriptions, don't be afraid of describing how she is dressed, how the place is, try and make it be a living scene on the head of the reader, that way, it makes the promo feel more life-like. What I always tend to do to describe is make a picture in my head and just describe every single detail that I can. That is how a reader instantly picks up on what they are being set into, and in my mind it makes the promo flow more nicely. I'd say you are doing a good job, but you could improve, try reading other's promos as women, I'd highly recommend, Gabrielle, Dinorah, Maddie and Sara those that are on now. Older ones would include Moira Crawford, Anyanka and probably every female character Cryonix ever had (:P) but yeah, I'm looking forward to seeing more.

And that bit of description goes to anyone that needs help in scenes

I'll try and get more up as the day continues.

Johnny Octane: You been doing this for long? Because if you have I can see it. I liked the introduction to the promo, it gave us a look at who Johnny is and why he is there, I love the way you write because it's more of a book/novel-type of description giving us his inside thoughts and his past instead of just the typical way of describing. As the others I am intrigued to what the text message said, also I like the way Johnny sees himself in the mirror, if you keep this up, I can very well see this happening soon. The only problem I got is that you don't talk about your opponents much and that is pretty much the only thing that I have to say about it, try to work on that and I think the promo will be better.

Madison: Gotta say I loved how detailed that description was... That promo was awesome, screw that, I imagined it whole and it was sexy as hell... -.- But now bit more serious as I said earlier I loved the descriptions in this promo, the interaction between her and Dinorah were great, overall the speaking of Nolee was pretty good and while it wasn't completely demeaning it was straight to the point and a very good one. This was a very playful promo and I really enjoyed it because it was greatly written, it's great to have you back in FWA.

[iMatt]

Yeah I'm pretty sure Dr. Nash jumped the gun he said promos were due Tuesday not Monday. We should have another day.

[tmnt316]

Awww yes just looked and he did jump the gun, I wasn't wrong. 23rd was the deadline to ask for an extension, 24th was deadline to post. Guess I'm all good then.

[DramaShark]

Damn right you are.

[Death Approaches]

And I was like 'OMG I totally gotta finish and post this!' lol

[Dr Nash]

lol. my bad i misread. i thought 23 was deadline but i was reading the wrong deadline. as the 23rd was the last day for granting promo extensions. must have been drowsy.