Celebrity Championship Wrestling

**CCW** · 07-08-2011, 10:22 PM

Celebrity Championship Wrestling. The whole concept is pretty much what it says, a wrestling show like WWE and TNA featuring celebrities. There's 2 different shows written by 2 people competing to see which show is the best. Celebrities are pushed based on what the 2 writers think of them and not based on popularity. We've been working on this for just about a year and we think it is an interesting concept. Ratings will be based on feedback and what people think is the best show. We had already started the show, meaning we might be in the middle of storylines and champions have already been crowned. Most of the show isn't meant to be taken seriously Here is the current rosters.

**CCW** · 07-08-2011, 10:23 PM

Both shows have gotten a short start prior to this episode, this first show that will be posted will be a draft show. Instead of drafting from the current rosters, there will be drafting from a list of free agents who aren't signed to a contract with either show yet and this will help expand the rosters.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EH4JDFuKtwA

Brian Griffin: Hello world! Brian Griffin here along with my partner Stewie! Tonight is going to be great! You can feel that excitement in the air! It's the first draft of celebrities!

Stewie Giriffin:Yes,yes are you finished now? Greetings fellow comrades around the world. I'm Stewie Griffin but you probably already knew that. Tonight begins what is sure to be the first step in my quest of world domination! You had all better get used to hearing my voice because sooner rather then later you will have no choice but to listen to everything I have to say!

Brian Griffin: Yeah, that's great too. Ladies and gentleman you are in for a wild ride tonight! All the big stars from Hollywood and around the world are gathered in one place for one night to make history!

Brian Griffin: As you can see, these are the celebrities that still don't have a home yet, tonight we're going to see some good old fashioned wrassling matches between the celebs of Execution and the celebs of Champions of the World!

Stewie Griffin: Did I just see Lindsay Lohan in that slide? What the hell is this? I thought CCW stood for Celebrity Championship Wrestling not Cocaine Crack Whores!

Brian Griffin: Well... I can't argue with that but we got some great talent in there as well and we're bound to see some of those guys in the flesh so without any further stalling for time, let's introduce the general managers for both brands as they get ready to kick off the show!

Entrance: Sxephil
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBhXZ6_xObw

Stewie Griffin: I say, who the devil is that?

Brian Griffin: That's the Champions of the World general manager Sxephil. One of the most subscribed guys on the Youtube website and a true visionary in his online reporting.

Stewie Griffin: Huh? What was that? I'm sorry it was difficult to understand what you were saying with your lips on his ass.

Sxephil stands on the right of the entrance stage where a podium is set up.

Sxephil: Unless you've been living under a rock the last 2 months, you've heard of the hit celebrity wrestling promotion Champions of the World! *Pop* That's right! It has been THE most talked about wrestling promotion since the WWF! With the celebrities and political leaders we have on our show, why wouldn't it be that big? With all the success and media attention we were getting we obviously were going to have some imitators. That's where Execution came along! With names like Justin Bieber and George Lopez being featured, it's no wonder this promotion didn't get nearly the amount of media attention that Champions got. So to make a long story short-

Joe Buck entrance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDArd_b7njM

Joe Buck stands on the opposite side of the stage and sets up on the podium.

Joe Buck: I hope you find yourself amusing because this display your showing out here is absolutely sickening! My show is obviously the top engineer! I know that you know that so why don't we end this before I have to embarass you!

Sxephil: OOOOO!! Such big words from such a big man! You know what, rather then standing out here and yip yapping all night long we should just get on with the show already! There are a large group of celebrities back there waiting to jump on the Champions board and I don't want to keep them waiting any longer then they need to! *To the crowd* So ladies and gentleman if you don't know how this is going to work then allow me to explain: It's my guys against his guys, after every match we both will pick from one of many free agents to be apart of our shows, the brand that wins the match prior to the draft picks will get the first draft pick!

\
Match #1 Rhett & Link (champions) vs Saulman & The Shame (Execution)

Brian: Look at Saulman taking it to Link in the early going with his speed. Here he goes trying to get him with his speed, ducks underneath a clothesline and WOW! ROO ROO ROO knocked down by Link's power. Cover 1! 2! and unlike "Cloverfield" this match has been great from get go.

Stewie: My God dog, what a travesty of offensive display. How can you possibly cheer someone running around the ring? This is worse than the remake of "Friday the 13th."

Brian: Here's a tag in to Shame and he's the powerhouse of the team. You wonder why these guys are tag team champions, they work extremely well together. They contrast styles making it very hard for opponents to study. OH ROO ROO! Link to the top rope! Cross Body! 1! 2! NO!This match continues. Stew, what do these guys need to do in order to win this match?

Stewie: Well If someone would just kill the red headed demon Lois, I'd help their bloody case.

Brian: What in the hell are you talking about? Oh man look at Link completely take over like Gerard Butler in 300. Nice headlook there slowing down the fresh and newly tagged Saulman.

Stewie: Yes dog, crazy legs better get a tag in before victory is Rhett and Link's.

Brian: Vertical suplex hit by Link. Almost as great as the third season of That 70's Show. Here's the cover and only a 2 count. Link tagging in his tag team partner Rhett now. Keeping each other fresh.Momentous night here tonight as every celebrity not taken by each show is on the line. We have names like Kim Kardashian, Eminem, Snoop Dogg and many more Stew!

Stewie: And how come we're not on that list? God, this is worse than that last season of America's Best Dance Crew. We're completely over-shadowed by them and...

Brian (interrupting Stewie): ROO ROO! HERES THE TAG TO THE SHAME! ROO ROO OH NO! He was going for Rhett but INADVERTANTLY HIT REFEREE CHARLES ROBINSON! AND NOW ROO ROO ROO LINK JUST TOSSED RHETTA CHAIR!

Stewie: Would you settle yourself down dog? Turnabout is fair play. Shame hit the referee and now he's gonna pay th.. What the deuce is this?!?! ITS THE JONAS BROTHERS?! WHAT IN THE NAME OF RUPERT IS GOING ON?

Brian: Look at this, ROO ROO ROO THE REFEREE IS GETTING BACK UP! SHAME SPEARS LINK ON THE OUTSIDE!THE TAG WAS MADE TO SAULMAN! SAUL IS THE LEGAL MAN! HE HITS A FROG SPLASH!! ROO ROO ROO ROO ROO ROO ROO! COVER! ONE TWO THREE YES! SAUL AND SHAME WIN LIKE THE PACKERS AT THE SUPERBOWL!

Brian Griffin: In the first match of the night Execution takes the victory and the first draft pick! What an exciting moment!

Stewie Griffin: *Mocking Brian* Oh my god this is such an exciting moment I'm gonna tell you what you just saw! Am I doing it right? I say, how do you manage to get excited over the littlest of things.

Brian Griffin: One person who is not very excited right now is sxephil, he looks more disappointed than kanye at the vmas when Taylor Swift won instead of Beyonce.

Stewie Griffin: Oh are we making lame references now? I see, Joe Buck looks as excited as Charlie Sheen when he's... you know... doing what it is Charlie Sheen does that makes him excited.

Brian Griffin: Your making it really hard to get into this.

Stewie Griffin: Yes, that's what she said. ZING!

Joe Buck jumps up and down the way Michael Cole does when he sees The Miz.

Joe Buck: I Bet you feel really stupid right now don't you! How's it feel knowing that it's only been one match and my brand is already more superior than yours.

Sxephil: It feels like you should shut up and make your first pick already before I run over there and-

Joe Buck: So in order to stick it to you this round, I need the biggest and brightest star on my roster. Someone who the world can recognize as the best in the world at what it is they do. Someone who will draw the media to my show like no one on your show can.

Stewie: Hey Brian, do me a favor and wake me up when he's finished.

Joe Buck: There is only one person who can fit this quality. And that one person is none other than... KIMBERLY NOEL KARDASHIAN!

Kim Kardashian comes out to a strong reaction from the crowd, including whistles from the men.

Stewie Griffin: That's the big name that's gonna sell? By god I have as much name recognition as she does.

Brian Griffin:*Going crazy* HEY! HEY! You're just jealous because more like her than recognize you! She is a goddess and she is more than worthy of being the first draft pick of the night!

Stewie Griffin: I haven't seen you this excited since they cancelled the wayans bros.

Kim goes backstage and Sxephil applauds.

Sxephil: Congratulations, out of all the free agents behind that curtain, I'll give it to you that Kimmy isn't that bad of a choice. Now allow me to one up you. My first pick is obviously gotta be someone huge! Someone that everyone around the world is gonna recognize and that is gonna... you know what I'm not gonna go into a huge speech about it like you, my first pick in the draft is gonna be.... DWAYNE "DON'T CALL HIM THE ROCK" JOHNSON!

The Rock doesn't come out but the crowd goes wild at the mention of his name.

Joe Buck: Wait a second! You can't do that! It's written in the the rules that no professional wrestlers are allowed to join either roster and you know damn well of that!

Sxephil: You are absolutely correctly there Bucky, but the problem is this; Dwayne Johnson is not an active professional wrestler anymore, therefore he is not considered a professional wrestler and therefore he is free for grabs and therefore he is on my show so therefore you suck!

Brian: Woe! What a bomb shell of an announcement! Former WWF superstar turned hollywood actor Dwayne Johnson is the first round pick! I think everyone has just been put on notice!

Stewie: Lovely, where the devil is he now?

Brian: Well he does have a busy schedule but if we're lucky enough he just might make an appearance via satellite

Stewie: Oh I'm sorry, he can't make it cause he's BUSY oh that poor man signing up for something and not being able to show up because of his tragic work schedule.... bawwwwwww

Brian: Well, the show must go on! So let's take it backstage where Michael Buckley is standing by with one of the team captains for tonight major battle royal!

Michael Buckley backstage interview with Scott Van Pelt

Michael Buckley: What the buck! Ladies and gentleman give it up for the team captain for Execution tonight, Scott Van Pelt! Scotty, if I may call you that, Scotty we're dieing to know who you have representing those Execution colors tonight when 5 of you take on 5 of them in that all out battle royal!

Scott Van Pelt: I have a couple people in mind, Buck. Nothing confirmed yet but I do believe if these people agree to come together for the greater cause that we can dominate that match and take home a big victory for us out there.

Buck: Wonderful! Well in that case what the people really wanna know is-

Jake T Austin: *Stepping in* What the people really wanna know is if I'm one of those 4 people that you got in mind

Scott: Psh... after everything you did last time we were in the ring together? I think you'd understand why your name wasn't one of the first couple dozen to pop in my head when I'm thinking about loyalty, determination, and respect

Austin: Oh come on, if your gonna discount me on anything the one thing you should know that I have all the determination in the world. I'm also loyal and respectful to those who show the same courtesy and just because your not one of those people doesn't mean I'm a jerk with everyone

Scott: Well I haven't seen much of any of that the last few months and I doubt I'll be seeing any of that from you tonight so as far as you defending the honor of this brand, you can forget it

Austin: Are you forgetting what tonight is about? It's about putting the past in the past and letting go of any problems we might have had for one night to take a stand and prove that we are the most dominant brand in celebrity championship wrestling. You may not know this but I consider the guys back there as my family. I'm willing to put aside all my evil tricks and what not just for tonight so I can show everyone out there the real Jake T Austin

Scott: You stay up all night thinking of that speech?

Austin: Actually it didn't take that long but really what other choices do you have at this point? There's like 12 guys on our roster and half of them are in matches already and the other half couldn't wrassle to save their own lives. I'm actually in the mood to kick some ass tonight so you make the call

Scott: Well tell you what, if I can't find anyone else to fill that final spot, I'll come back to you, get on my knees, and beg you to join how about that?

Austin: Sounds great I just don't want you messing up those pants they look like they cost a fortune besides that see you later tonight... partner *walks off*

Emily Osment visits Miley in her locker room

Emily Osment (walking in): Hey girlfriend! How've you been?

Miley Cyrus (not happy to see Emily): Uhm... ok first off How did you get in here?

Emily Osment: Oh I told security we were old friends. You know BFF's! *friendly elbows Miley*

Miley Cyrus (looking annoyed): Ok that's the second thing, since when have we been BFF's? On Hannah Montana? You know there's a difference between playing a BFF and actually being one, in this case you just played one

Emily Osment: Well, what about all that stuff we did? You told me all about you and Nick. But hey never mind that. I heard you got a match tonight! Exciting isn't it!

Miley Cyrus: HAHA! Your kidding right? You think I'm excited to get in there and mess myself up in front of thousands of screaming idiots? You really think that's something I'd be excited about?

Emily Osment (disappointed): I'm sorry I just thought-

Miley Cyrus (interrupting): You just thought you'd come barging in here and trying to talk to me like if we were actually friends? Not to sound harsh but all this is just proving even further how little you really know about me *turns back to Emily*

Emily Osment: Good luck anyway, I'll be in my locker room if you wanna talk. *walks away*

Arena with Joe Buck and Sxephil standing behind their podiums

Sxephil: While Execution continues to battle with itself, we will be taking the fight to them! How you feeling over there Joey? Doesn't look like your guys can even get along with each other

Joe: Like yours will be able to work any better? All that matters is that we win matches and so far we got 1 to nothing on you guys so unless your guys actually start winning matches I suggest you shut your mouth and-

Sxephil: - So anyway before I was rudely interrupted I was about to say that the winner of this next match will pick up 2 draft picks instead of one like the loser AKA Joe Buck will have to pick so without any interuption or comments from a certain loser let's get this started already!

Match #2 Victoria Justice (Execution) vs Bohosolo (Champions)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ykMJAbE_Aw
Victoria Justice comes out with a mic in her hand...

Victoria Justice: Whoa whoa whoa cut my music. If any of you ever experienced a complete annihialationyou were probably traumitized. I'm not regretting to inform you that all of you will witnessit again. So parents, tell your kids to look away because im about to go Charles Manson on this nutjob.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy20Q761osI
Bohosolo walks to the ring and the match is underway

Bohosolo enters the ring and we are under way. There's a psycho look on Bohosolo's face.Justice looks a little bit intimidated. Justice goes right up to her and talks trash. Boho says nothing with a creepy smile on her face. Bell rings and Justice runs up going for a running clothesline. Boho doesnt even flinch. Justice gets up and punches Boho. Shes still got the same look on her face and she looks like nothing can hurt her. As Justice runs to the ropes going for another clothesline, Boho finally reacts and hits VJ with a clothesline of her own. Justice is really hurt by it. Boho goes right on the attack as she hits a tiger bomb looking manuever. Cover.. 1, 2.. 2!!!!! Bohosolo gets right back up and picks up Justice by the hair. She throws her over the top rope and the referee starts the 10 count. Before Justice can get up, Boho jumps over the top and hits a no handed over the top rope suicide dive. Boho quickly gets back into the ring and the referee re-starts the 10 count. Justice, desperate for some kind of offense, grabs a chair while Boho is playing to the crowd. When Boho turns around, she is almost beheaded with a vicious chair shot!!! Almost as vicious as the cobra strike. Justice is looking up as she is deafened with boos. She laughs and says "whos the top dog now?" She is disqualified and not mad at all. She is smiling evily in the middle of the ring. She throws the chair to the ground and walks away with a smile on her face. Joe Buck has a disappointed/shocked look on his face as Sxephil cracks up laughing

Sxephil: *laughing uncontrollably* I'm sorry! That is just too priceless!

Joe Buck tries to ask Victoria why she got herself disqualified as she walks up the ramp. Victoria just smiles and walks backstage.

Sxephil: Well ladies and gentleman, not only do they not trust each other but they don't want to win matches either! Give it up for the Execution roster everyone! Anyway, I believe that earned me 2 draft picks right? Hmm... let's see.... who on that free agency list is worthy of competing on Champions of the World.....

Stewie: OH MY GOD DOES IT ALWAYS TAKE THIS LONG FOR THEM TO MAKE A DECISION! You would think they would be planning this during commercials but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO here's a fancy idea let's take up your precious TV time by stalling and... you know what why did I even let you drag me into this, Brian?

Sxephil: Ah screw it, we need someone to keep it a party, Lindsay come on out here!

Lindsay comes out stumbling, obviously drunk with a big goofy smile on her face as she tries to shake Sxephils hand. The crowd is booing thunderously as people in the crowd are shouting sexual slurs at Lindsay.

Brian: Hey look Stewie it's your favorite person

Stewie: Oh god just when I thought this abomination of a broadcast couldn't possibly get any worse here comes the crack cocaine whore herself to save the day

Lindsay picks up a microphone and holds it backward trying to talk. Sxephil flips the mic rightside up.

Lindsay Lohan: *drunk, crowd booing over her* Oh muh god thank you! You are... you are such a nice person. *to the crowd* What is up Greenbay Wisconsin! *crowd boos even louder* I love... I love each and every single one of you guys with allllllllllll my heart! *tries to do a heart sign but can't get her fingers to touch* Hehe... uhm... so as the new Miss America I am... I'm gonna..... I PROMISE.... that I will foreber be the role model that allll the litly boys and girlys can wish apon a star.... haha that's like porn star....

Stewie: For the love of Rupert someone please take the microphone from her and throw it in the trash before anyone catches her herpes

Lindsay: Uhm... I wanna dank my mommy and daddy for alway... always... what's that?

Lindsay squints at Bohosolo rushing up the ramp. Boho hits Lindsay with a Lou Thez Press and chokes her on the ground yelling curse names at her. The crowd is going crazy chanting F****** her up. Boho backs off Lindsay as she crawls on the floor gagging. Boho has a crazed look in her eyes as she positions Lindsay just right and kicks her in the gut. Lindsay instantly pukes on the stage. Boho laughs hysterically and rolls around in the puke.

Joe Buck: And there you have it, Champons of the World defined right there! What a great night of draft picks it's been for you. First you pick a guy that isn't even here, now you pick up this trainwreck puking all over the place. Oh I can't wait to see who you pick next!

Sxephil: The joke is on you, the only reason I picked this trashy crack addict was so that I can have fresh meat for my real draft pick and believe me when I say he is your worst nightmare!

Freddy slides out from backstage in The Boogeyman motion as the crowd goes wild. Freddy faces off with Joe Buck.

Freddy: What's wrong,Buck? You look like you've seen a ghost!

Joe Buck: Actually what I'm looking at is a grown man in a Halloween costume in July with a childrens play glove

Freddy raises his claw as if he's about to strike Joe, Joe flinches and screams like a girl. Freddy laughs menacingly then walks backstage.

Joe Buck: Yea you better run! I was just humoring him.... anyway, you think think Freddy is something special? Well I can do you one better! The original maniac serial killer, Michael Myers!

Michael Myers comes out and faces off with Sxephil

Sxephil: Real original there buddy. Well unlike you I'm gonna show some respect. Michael, I respect everything you've done and the amount of low lives you've gotten rid of in your career. *holds hand out for handshake*

Lindsay Lohan comes out and hugs Michael Myers. Michael looks down on Lindsay and stares at her for a few seconds. Michael grabs Lindsay by the throat and chokeslams her off the stage as she says "Weeeeeee" on the way down. Sadly there was a ton of boxes laid out to break her fall. Michaels theme music plays as he walks backstage.

Barack Obama meets George Bush stuffing his face in catering

Barack Obama: George? Is this how your planning on picking teams tonight?

George Bush: Planning on picking what?

Barack Obama: Teams. You must have heard by now, Sxephil wants you to pick four other celebrities to team against five of Execution.

George Bush: Dang it Big O, you know I ain't good at making decisions!

Barack Obama: Time is running out, if you don't have a team assembled by the next half hour it's just gonna be you out there by yourself.

George Bush: *smashes chicken wing* Alright looks like it's gonna be us two out there. We probably gonna need to recruitify some muscle so get me that Britney Spears girl and her friend Paris.

Barack Obama: You realize they've been ripping each other apart week in and week out on the show right?

George Bush: That's good, we need aggression! While we're at it get me one of them Jonas Brothers and we can call it a team.

Barack Obama: George, are you sure? There are plenty of others we can recruit if we...

George Bush: I made my decision and that's final! There's no going back or turning away now. Just go let them kids know and wake me up when it's time. *walks off*

Selena Gomez greets Demi Lavoto in her lock room

Selena: *with a hug* Oh my god I've missed you!

Demi: Yea it sucks being on different shows, you have no idea what it's like being in that locker room with all those freaks.... and that Lady Gaga person whatever it wants to call itself.... ugh!

Selena: You think that's bad? Try putting up with a locker room with Chris... well "Christina" Crocker and those psychopaths Britney and Paris

Demi: Ugh... don't even wanna imagine that

Selena: Right sorry... but speaking of creepy psychos, you got a match with Miley tonight right?

Demi: Yup and I plan to make her squeal like a pig on her redneck farm!

Selena: Careful with her she likes to find funny little ways of cheating all the time cause she can't win a match fair and square

Demi: Wow really? You think you can watch out for me out there? Like be in my corner or something in case she tries anything?

Selena: What are friends for?

Demi hugs Selena. Miley is seen in the corner over hearing the conversation then walks away.

The ring is set up for a Jerry Springer segment with Jerry and some psychologist sitting in the ring

Jerry Springer: Welcome ladies and gentleman! Welcome to the Jerry Springer Show! Tonight's guest may not be a celebrity but it's someone who works with them. Please welcome to the show Dr. Dixie Normos! *pop* Now we understand you've been working as a psychologist for musician Lady Gaga and you asked to come on the show to reveal something to the public so the spotlight is yours take it away

Dixie: Well Jerry as you know I'm Lady GaGa's psychologist. I've been her psychologist for some time now. Almost a year Jerry.And when you talk to someone about the stuff GaGa's talked to me about, you tend to start having feelings for the person. That's why I'm here today to tell Lady GaGa that I'm in love with her.

Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo

Jerry: Oh my, well have you been keeping this a secret for long?

Dixie: A few months now, yes. I need to tell her now.

Jerry: Well, she might not have known then but she knows now here is.. Lady GaGa!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-VXAbFlhaI
Lady Gaga enters from the cieling Orlando Jordan style

GaGa: Did you really think that I didn't know what you felt? I always saw the look in your eyes. It almost turned me on. I knew I couldn't share my feelings and thoughts with you. I don't share them with anyone. I made all that stuff up. I'm not that sweet normal goody two shoes little girl you think I am. In fact, I'm not even a girl. Im an IT!

Audience: oooooooooooooooooooo

GaGa: And you still remember your married right?

Jerry: Your married?

Dixie: Yes, 4 years. But none of that matters anymore. I don't care about the truth. I want YOU.

GaGa: Then I guess you won't care one bit what I do to your husband if you don't leave me alone. See, I brought him with me on this road trip. Have him right there. *Points to the top of the stripper pole part of the set. He's tied up and has tape all over his mouth*

Dixie: NO PLEASE LET HIM GO! LOOK I LOVE YOU BUT THATS MY HUSBAND!! JUST PLEASE SHOW SOME MERCY!

Lady GaGa: Fine, I'll let ol' suga daddy go if you leave me alone and never bother me again. And if you even think about having a chat with the police I'll find Dave here again and this time, I won't let him go so easy.

Jerry: So, your name's Dave *Dave Slowly nods* ITS DAVE EVERYONE!!

Audience: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAY

Dixie (in tears): Alright I'll never bother you again. Just please let him go. I still love you but please that's my husband.

GaGa: Oh see that? That was the wrong answer! *lets go of rope which drops Dave below the ground*

Audience: OOOOOOOOOOOOoooo

GaGa: You can't love me because I'm not a human being! You either leave me alone, or your mother is next!!!

Dixie (weeping and bawling): YOU STUPID BITCH YOU KILLED MY HUSBAND! COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!!! IM BOUT TO FUCK YOUR SHIT UP!!

Audience: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Guy in the back plays the bell ringing. GaGa nods hard and they both disappear and all that's left is Dave on the stage naked. The Jerry Springer theme in the background as they throw him some jerry beads

Ronaldinho confronts Scott Van Pelt in the locker room

Ronaldinho: My man Scott.. How's it hangin?

Scott: You attack me with a chair last week and you wanna know how it's hanging look man I'm really busy so if you don't have a point why don't you leave

Ronaldinho: Alright.. I'm not here to play any games.. Truth is, I want to be on your team tonight.

SVP: YOU? On MY team? Your about as trustworthy as Tiger Woods in a committed relationship

Ronaldinho: Ouch.. Look, you may hate me, but the truth is. we have more in common than you think.. I mean you cover sports and I play soccer

(long akward silence)

SVP: Anything else?

Ronaldinho: Look the bottom line is.. We don't have much depth and I'm one of the few choices you've got so just think about it

SVP: You know, now that I think about it, I may not like your attitude lately but at least I know when it comes down to business you can get things done and I'll take you over Jake T Austin any day of the week so as long as you mean it, welcome aboard team Execution *shakes hands with Ronaldinho*

Miley Cyrus visits Emily osment in her locker room

Miley: *with open arms* Hey best friend in the whole wide world! How's it going?

Emily: Uhm... didn't you just dis me like 20 minutes ago?

Miley: Yea and I feel really bad about that, I was just really stressed out about my match tonight and I'm sorry if I took it out on you, can you find it in your heart to forgive me?

Emily: I can't stay mad at you *opens arms and hugs miley back*

Miley: *close of of face looking disgusted* Yea it's my fault and to make it up to you by offering you front row view to my match with Demi tonight!

Emily: You mean like manager?

Miley: More like a... BFF watching out for another BFF's back. You really never know what Demi might do next and especially considering Selena is gonna be there in her corner cheating for her I could use all the help I can get and I was hoping you could be there for me you know?

Emily: I totally get where your coming from! Don't worry as long as I'm out there you won't have anything to worry about!

Miley: Aww I knew I could count on you... BFF! *holds Emily's hand and walks away with her*

Arena with Joe Buck and Sxephil standing behind their podiums

Sxephil: Here comes the tie breaker! Any time your ready to quit over there,Joey

Joe Buck: Oh believe me, I am just getting warmed up and so are my celebrities backstage. Since you went ahead and made that little stipulation last match, what do you say we add a stipulation to this next match as well?

Sxephil: I kinda felt bad about leaving you short handed last round but ok whatever you say your the boss

Joe Buck: Since last round the winner got 2 draft picks, how about this round the loser will get NO draft picks

Sxephil: You might as well just let me draft everyone on free angency at this rate! I'll take that deal then! Your on!

Match #3 Demi Lavato (Execution) vs Miley Cyrus (Champions)

The two women start out in the middle of the ring. Staring each other down. The crowd going absolutley crazy!!! Theyre tearing the roof off as they lock up in the middle of the ring. Miley takes down Demi and starts throwing right hands on top of her. Miley breaks it up at. the count of four. Then, she starts choking Demi on the ropes and also breaks that up at the count of 4. While she's arguing with the referee, she signals Emily to do something, but Emily doesn't seem to know what Miley is asking to do. So, Miley rolls her eyes and continues to attack Demi. However, Demi counters and starts throwing punches of her own. Demi backs her up into the turnbuckle and goes for a running clothesline but Miley counters by moving out of the way. While the referee checks on Demi, Miley takes the padding off the turnbuckle. Emily asks her what she's doing and tells her to put it back but Miley just ignores her. Miley sends Demi into the unprotected steel and Demi goes down hard. The referee asks her if she wants to continue, and she says she does. Miley taunts the crowd before being deafened with boos. As she goes back to attack Demi, Demi counters and hits a small package 1....2.... NO!!! 2!!! and Miley gets up very mad. She stomps on Demi without any sign of remorse. She picks her up and puts her in the abdominal stretch. Demi gets to the ropes and again Miley doesn't break the hold until the referee gets to the count of four... Miley picks up Demi and sends her to the ropes. she goes for a clothesline but Demi ducks and Demi hits a flying clothesline!!! Demi and Miley are both down... Miley gets up first but Demi is also getting up, Miley goes for a clothesline, Demi ducks and Miley hits the referee inadvertently!!!! Demi hits a DDT and both women are down... we can hear something indistinct... Miley tells Emily to get a chair!!! However, Emily refuses and Miley is furious!!! She tells Emily to get in the ring so she can "talk" to her. Emily goes in the ring. Miley whispers something in Emily's ear and Emily is furious!!! It seems as though Miley said Demi was talking spiz about Emily! Demi is getting back up and Miley hits a suplex on her.. then, Miley holds her up for Emily to hit... but Demi ducks and Emily hits Miley with a big boot by accident!!!!! Emily looks so upset and Selena comes in and hits Emily with the Shining Wizard!!!! Selena gets out of the ring as the referee is getting back up. Miley also gets back up and spits in Emily's face and yells "YOU STUPID BITCH!!!! YOU CANT DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!!" Miley turns around and is hit with a missle dropkick by Demi!! Then Demi hits the side effect! Demi gets back up and hits the Sharpshooter!!!!! Miley is groaning in absolute pain! She sees Emily get back up and asks for help.. Emily just waves and walks away with a smile on her face.. Meanwhile in the ring, Miley is stuck in the Sharpshooter and has no choice but to tap out!!!

Demi and Selena rush out the ring and celebrate together up the ramp as Miley yells at Emily. Emily tries to explain herself but Miley shoves her to the ground and walks off.

Brian Griffin: There you have it! Miley Cyrus's selfishness has just cost her the match and a friend!

Stewie Griffin: I'm sorry did I miss something? I'm still trying to get over that Lady Gaga travesty

joe Buck: That was just about as decisive as it can get! I believe the deal was loser doesn't get any draft pick. So now let's skip over you and go directly to the one and only draft pick for this round. This person isn't going to be a crack addict or a made up fairy tale monster, this person is someone who can- TAYLOR LAUTNER!

Taylor comes out to a John Cena type reaction with all the little kids and girls going wild and all the men over 18 trying to boo over the cheers. Taylor takes off his shirt and a roar of wild fan girls shrieking at the top of their lungs fills the arena. Taylor tosses his shirt into the crowd and an all our riot breaks out as everyone is fighting for the shirt bashing each other with fists and chairs. Taylor smiles and walks off.

Sott Van Pelt talks to George Lopez backstage

George: -and if they try to sneak of from behind, I'll go like this WATCHA! *does the crane position and hops on one foot*

Scott: Perfect man, glad to have you on board see you out there tonight! *walks around the locker room looking for other celebrities, stands outside the locker room of Kobe Bryant* Hey Kobe I need to talk to you man- *walks in and sees a group of medics attending to a knocked out Kobe Bryant*

Brian: Oh my god who could have done such a thing!

Stewie: Really? your really asking that stupid question?

The Jonas Brothers backstage

Joe Jonas: *walking in* Guys did you hear? One of us is gonna have to get in that battle royal match later on

Nick Jonas: No kidding? Sweet! So which one of us is it gonna be?

Kevin Jonas: I wouldn't mind getting in there and showing some of those guys what we're worth

Nick Jonas: I was hoping I'd be the only one that actually wanted to get in there

Joe Jonas: Hey no worries guys! I got it all planned *pulls out a hat with ripped bits of paper inside* I took the liberty of writing our names in this hat. Just to be fair, we all stand a one in three chance. Who wants to do the honors?

Nick Jonas: You can go ahead Kevin.

Kevin Jonas: Alright no problem *pulls a paper out the hat and reads it* Looks like it's your lucky day Joe!

Joe Jonas: *excited* Woe really? Wow! Man, I don't even know if I'm ready to go out there in front of all those people and risk my life... you guys sure you don't wanna redraw?

Nick Jonas: It's no worries, bro. We believe in you.

Kevin Jonas: Yea and that match with Rhett and Link at Unforgiven last week, I'd say you probably did a better job as either of us in that match

Nick Jonas: Exactly, it's all you man. Don't sweat it.

Joe Jonas: I guess I can give it my best shot. Don't worry guys, I'm gonna make sure I win this for all of us! Go team Jonas! *rushes out the room*

Nick Jonas: You gotta admit, he does deserve it.

Kevin Jonas: *looking at the remainder papers in the hat* Yea, he deserves to be knocked upside the head!

Nick Jonas: What's wrong?

Kevin Jonas: All of these said Joe!

Nick Jonas: Your kidding? *takes the names and looks upset*

Arena with Joe Buck and Sxephil standing behind their podiums

Joe Buck: Oh real classy stuff!

Sxephil: You wanna talk about classy? How about what just happened to one of your guys back there?

Joe Buck: For what we know it could've been one of your own guys that did that to Kobe

Sxephil: Really? What possible threat is a washed up basketball player to my team?

Joe Buck: Just admit it, you would jump at the chance to have any celebrity on my roster because any 1 of them can easily top any 10 of yours

Sxephil: Oh is that right? Like you wouldn't kill to have anyone on my roster! Unlike your show we actually have a world champion who we can be proud of and that man is Jon Lajoie! I'm sure if given the chance to draft Jon Lajoie you wouldn't hesitate to do so

Joe Buck: Please! Miranda Cosgrove is worth more than that z-list internet celebrity wanna-be

Sxephil: Well how about this, since you say any of your superstars are worth more than any of mine, for this round how about the winner will get.... 2 random picks from the other roster! computer simulated, random, we have no say in it if your roster is worth as much as you say it is

Joe Buck: Pshhhh! Not that I want anyone on your roster but this could be a good chance to cripple your brand even more than it already is so your on!

Match #4 Dane Cook (Execution) vs Jon Lajoie (Champions)

Deafening booes for Jon Lajoie as the match begins. Dane Cook is playing to the crowd waving his arms up and down trying to get them on his side and its working. We hear "Cook his ass Cook his ass." Theyre both standing in the middle of the ring. Lajoie extends his hand as if for a handshake, Cook goes to shake his hand but gets slapped hard before he knows it. Lajoie continues to attack goes down and punches Cook relentlessly. The Ref gets to the count of 4 before Lajoie gets off. As he's off, Jon flips the crowd off and gets back on Dane Cook on the turnbuckle. He puts Dane up and hits a superplex. Cover quick by Lajoie 1... 2.. 2!!!!!! Only a 2 count. Lajoie yells at the referee as he gets back on the attack. Cook hits a right hand from his knees and Lajoie looks daised. They exchange punches in the middle of the ring with the crowd completely in it... Dane punch: Yeah Jon punch: Boo... Boo, Yeah, Boo, Yeah, Boo, Yeah.. Boo.. Yeah Yeah Yeah. Irish whip by cook and he hits a dropkick. Cook runs to the ropes and hits a leg drop Cover. 1.. 2.. NO only 2!!! Cook picks Lajoie up but he breaks out and gives Cook a thumb to the eye as they both fall down. Dane Cook seems to be unfaised by it though as he quickly nips up and the fans mark out. Cook stomps Lajoie and picks him up and hits a snap suplex. He nips up again and heads to the top rope, goes for a missle dropkick but Lajoie ducks and Cook hits the referee on accident. Lajoie gets up with an evil smile on his face. Lajoie goes outside and gets a chair. Lajoie goes for a shot with a chair but Cook ducks and hits a super kick. The referee is getting back up and gets rid of the chair in the ring. Meanwhile there's a pinfall going on behind him!! 1.. 2.. NOOO!!! That shouldve been a ten count!! Lajoie barely kicks out. Cook tries to take off the turnbuckle padded covering but the referee stops him and fixes it. As Dane Cook is going back to attack Lajoie, he gets low-blowed and rolled up. Lajoie has the tights!!! The ref turns around. 1.. 2.. 3!!!!!!

Sxephil: There you have it ladies and gentleman! yet another victory for the Champions of the world brand! Allow me to spare you all the time of the long speech and let's get right to- no shut up Joe you agreed to it and right now Champions has earned 2 draft picks from the Execution roster! As I said, these picks will be at random so will the loser working the production truck go ahead and do whatever it is they have to do to reveal the random draft pick!

Joe Buck: HA! Talk about irony! Oh well, I had no plans for her anyway. You can have her

Sxephil: Well I for one see wonders in her. Anyway, who's the next one?

Joe Buck: No! No! No! You can not have her! You can not have her! You hear me! She is a goldmine of potential and a future world champion I refuse to let you take her away from me!

Sxephil: Sorry Buck but that's the way the cookie crumbles, you agreed to the stipulation and now Demi Lavato is officially a Champions of the World celebrity!

joe Buck: Ok you know what.... I'll give it to you, I'll give you 5 free draft picks off the free agency and off my roster in exchange for Demi back! I can't afford to lose her! She's my top talent!

Sxephil: Sorry buddy but I'm no interested. We made a bet and there's no going back on it now so unless you got some kind of time machine there's no way your getting Demi back on your roster

Joe Buck throws a tantrum on his side of the stage

Scott Van Pelt is seen talking with Justin Beiber while the CCW theme music is playing in the background drowning out what they're saying

Michael Buckley stands at ringside with Kanye West in the stands

Buck: What the buck! It looks as though not all the celebrities are chilling in the back because we have with us Kanye West sitting here with the fans. Wow this is really weird did you-

Kanye: Yea I'm really happy for you and Imma let you finish, but right now I just wanna say that Fred is one of the greatest youtubers of all time! With that being said, I find it a travesty that ain't nobody contact me and say to me to be on this show? Ain't NOBODY TELL ME THAT! Now I gotta sit here and watch this sh** from ringside because nobody wanna hire me? That's bullsh** and I ain't gonna take that. So what imma do is imma be here err single week. Err single week until somebody come up to me and hire me cause I should already be hired.

Buck: Well I'm glad we took the time to... oh who am I kidding! This is nothing but filler I don't think anyone here really cares what Kanye has to say! Anyway let's take it backstage or anywhere but here!

Brian griffin and Stewie Griffin on commentary

Brian: Well I'm being told we have to recap everything that just happened tonight so-

Stewie: Why bother? Don't most people in this world use TiVo by now?

Brian: They should. Well it's been a night of unpredictability for sure as 2 worlds colide! Champions of the World and Execution battling it out here tonight for picks of free agents and we've had plenty of great picks tonight

Stewie: Yes, we've had a crack whore and invisible man drafted while great talent such as myself is forced to sit here waiting like a fat kid waiting to be picked on a dodge ball team

Brian: Champions of the World has already drafted Dwayne Johnson, Lindsay Lohan, Freddy Krueger, and just a few minutes ago stolen from the Execution roster Demi Lavato and Miranda Cosgrove

Stewie: What on earth was the point of that Jerry Springer crap we saw earlier? I say, it was poor taste and I don't think I'll be able to sleep at night when I get home tonight... Brian... do you um... mind if I-

Brian: No you can't sleep with me again you remember what happened last time

We see a typical family guy flashback showing what happened the last time Stewie slept with Brian (use your imagination)

Brian: Well anyway Execution has Kim Kardashian, Michael Myers, and that guy from Twighlight that everyone loves

Stewie: Again, more talentless nobodies being signed to high paying contracts while people like my sit on their ass and do nothing

Brian: It's been a wild night as Scott Van Pelt and George Bush picked teams for the main event battle royal tonight and we have more details on that. For every elimination made, that counts as a draft pick for the other brand. So this could get crazy because we could see up to 5 draft picks for 1 brand and anywhere from 0-4 for the other that's pretty interesting let's see if all the teams are picked just yet

Scott Van Pelt confronts Jake T Austin in the hallway

Scott: What did you do?

Austin: Well, first I got out bed and stretched a little before I got out-

Scott: You know exactly what I mean! how is it that every time I went in the back to get someone on board with his team, they happened to be laid out in a pool of their own blood?

Austin: You think I did that?

Scott: I know for a fact you did that why else would anyone take out members of our own roster and how would they have any way of getting into our locker room unless they were a member of the roster themself

Austin: How would I know? You ever think maybe the other team is after us trying to make sure we don't make it?

Scott: If that's the case then why haven't they gotten you yet

Austin: Look man, you can go to security right now and check the tapes, I can guarantee you you won't see my face anywhere in that locker room at that time. If you want I can go back there now and get the tape for you

Scott: I don't have time for that, the match is up next and thanks to you we're one man short of a team

Austin: Well if it makes you feel any better you don't have to get on your knees for this one, I'm willing to go out there and support my team for-

Scott: Save it... I'll give you one chance tonight and if you pull anything funny-

Austin: Relax man, I know what's best for my team

Match #5 team Execution vs Team Champions Battle Royal

Immediately after the bell rings Jake T Austin tosses Scott Van Pelt over the top rope and eliminates him. The camera shows Joe Buck in shock asking what the hell was that. Sxephil is seen laughing and pointing his finger at Joe. Everyone in the ring is paused while Scott argues with Austin from outside the ring. Austin tells Scott this is his team. While Britney has her back turned, Paris quickly pushes her to the ropes which knocks out out of the ring and is eliminated. Sxephil stops laughing and does the same thing Joe was doing when Austin eliminated Scott. Joe Buck is now the one laughing at Sxephil. Paris laughs at Britney. britney yanks Paris's feet and drags her under the rope taking her out of the ring and they start brawling outside the ring as security tries to break it up. Bush slaps Obama across the face. Obama asks what that was for. Bush responds he thought everyone was fighting each other.

Joe Jonas wastes no time and hits Ronaldinho with a flying forearm and stomps away on him. George Lopez irish whips Joe into a corner and shouts like a monkey before rushing in for a spear in the corner. Bush kicks Lopez in the gut and hits him with a stone cold stunner followed by cursing at him while he's on the ground. Justin Bieber kicks Bush in the groin. Bush laughs and says he has b-b-balls of steel then kicks Bieber in the gut and goes for a Rocky style DDT. Before Bush can fall back for the DDT, Austin hits him with a Carlito backstabber. Ronaldinho grabs Joe Jonas from behind and attempts an Orton style backbreaker but pushes him off. Ronaldinho bounces off the ropes and Joe catches him on the rebound for a Shelton Benjamin style t-bone suplex. Obama tries to shake Justin Beiber's hand and say he wishes there was more of him in America. Just then a water bottle comes flying out of the crowd smacking Justin in the head. Justin falls to the floor crying about how much it hurts. Obama shrugs it off and turns around.

The lights go out. As soon as the lights turn back on a group of terrorists come out from the crowd shouting "Allah!". The terrorists jump in the ring and attack Obama and George Bush and toss them out of the ring and carry them backstage. The only person on Team Champions is Joe. On Team Execution there is Justin Bieber, Jake T Austin, George Lopez, and Ronaldinho. The remaining Execution members circle around Joe. Ronaldinho yells out orders. Jake T Austin laughs and hits Ronaldinho with an RKO style cutter. George Lopez turns around and does the crane move hopping on one leg shrieking. Justin Bieber pushes George to the ropes. George hangs on trying not to be eliminated. Bieber and Austin toss George over the top rope. Joe just lays back on the corner enjoying the show. Bieber and Austin pick Ronaldinho up to toss him over the ropes but Ronaldinho fights back viciously with wild fists as fast as the Tazzmanian devil. Ronaldinho clothlines Bieber over the top rope and waits for Austin to get up by positioning himself the way The Rock does before he hits a Rock bottom. Joe decides to take this chance to run in and kick Ronaldinho out of the ring with a big boot. Austin gets to his feet and smiles at Joe. Austin says something but it can't be heard over the crowd and commentators talking. Austin flips himself over the top rope himself the way The Undertaker exits the ring and team Champions won the match.

Sxephil: I could go into a big joke about your roster right now but after all that cluster I think I'll leave it alone. Well guess what? Once again, Champions gets 1 extra draft pick than you so let's take it to the titantron to find out who the final 5 picks for the night will be on the champions side!

Joe Buck: *laughing uncontrollably* Dude, who the hell are half those people? You have 2 washuped has beens in Amanda Bynes and Vanessa Hudgens, you have a doll... A DOLL! You have a doll on your show! And i don't even know who the other 2 are!

Sxephil: That would be Jessi Slaughter and Caseyface two of the most-

Joe Buck: *laughing harder* Does anyone even know who either of those 2 are? Isn't this celebrity championship wrestling what kind of celebrities are those!

Sxephil: One of them just so happens to be one of the most recognizable names and faces of the webcam site busniess as well as the winner of the 2009 cam whore of the year award. The other is... well Jessi Slaughter

Joe Buck: I repeat.. who the hell are either of those people! You may have gotten more picks than my show but based off all that fail it doesn't really matter. Let me show you what a real roster is made up of! Take it away random machine thing!

Sxephile: Well speak of nobodies and has beens! Check that out! The only one I recognize out of that group is the washed up wanna be black rapper Eminem

Joe Buck: You know what Phil? I know that's not how you feel about those guys so if you want, you can have them! You can have all of them! All I ask in exchange is for Demi

Sxephil: Maybe I didn't make myself clear earlier, there is not a trade, deal, or offer you can make that will convince me to trade you Demi back and that's the bottom line because Sxephill said so

Joe Buck runs across to the other side of the stage to attack Sxephil. Phil slaps him across the face and that knocks him out. The screen fades to black. joe wakes up in an empty arena with fog everywhere. The sound of nails screeching on metal is heard. Freddy krueger comes out from backstage and laughs evilly. Joe tries to run away but he's running in one place.

Freddy: Aww... not such a tough guy now are yah?

Joe Buck: I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't do anything! I didn't mean anything bad I was just-

Freddy snaps his claws and Joe Bucks mouth is sealed shut

Freddy: The time for talking is over! Welcome to my nightmare!

Freddy raises his claws and swipes down. Fades to black and the CCW logo is shown.

**CCW** · 07-10-2011, 06:37 AM

To even out there rosters the supplemental draft let's both brands choose a celebrity one at a time from the free agency to add to their show. There is a limit to 35 celebrities per show, Champions of the World is at 31 before the supplemental draft so they are only allowed 4 picks from the free agency. Execution is at 24 celebrities and can add up to 11 celebrities through the supplemental draft.

The first round draft pick went to Execution. Execution chose to sign the most talked about child murderer that got away with it in the month of July 2011, Casey Anthony!

In Champions first round draft pick, they chose former WWE employee and current sports broadcaster Johnathan Coachman!

Just when you thought he was never coming back, Saddam Hussein is chosen as the second round draft pick for Execution! A true revolutionary who brought a nation to it's knees while enjoying Dorito chips

The man who nearly single handedly led a nation in the sexual revolution in the 60's and started one of the most successful businesses in the world with Playboy, Hugh Hefner is certainly living every man's dream and is now living the dream on the Champions roster.

From small comedy sitcoms on Disney Channel all the way to staring in numerous box office hits, Shia Labeouf has risen to the top of the hollywood scene and plans on rising to the top of Execution

It's all about money, money, money! Donald Trump is no stranger to the ring as he has battled against Vince Mcmahon himself and now takes it to some newer competition on Champions

an American actor, writer, director and producer. He became known in the early 2000s, appearing in several successful Hollywood films, including The Fast and the Furious and xXx. He founded the production companies One Race Films, Tigon Studios and Racetrack Records.

Woo, woo, woo you kno- oh wait... well it's that one guy that Zack Ryder and Robbe E remind people of from the Jersey Shore, Mike "The Situation" whatever his last name is

Directly after Champions selected a Jersey Shore free agent, Execution immediately decided to copy and sign a Jersey Shore character themselves and they did so with the fake $5 fun bags herself Jenny Jcoww

He's only going to tell you this one time so listen up *cork neck* he did not have sexually relations with that woman but he did sign a contract with Execution which should cover up any uh-ohs

The single greatest gold player of all time? Or the man who got beat up by his wife? You decide for yourself but we'll be seeing one of those sides on Execution

Honestly he has no idea what any of this is but he thinks it's "Very nice!"

List of celebrities who have just applied for free agency this week to be signed to either Champions of the World or Execution at any time. Both shows must wait a minimum of a week before any newly found talent can be signed to an official contract.

From making us laugh on That 70's show, to Punk'ing the world 1 celebrity at a time, to the greatest movie of all time The Butterfly effect, Ashton Kutcher has brough the lulz with him wherever he goes and now he can bring them to CCw

Chuck Norris. Nuff said.

Though there is a policy that says professional wrestlers are not allowed to compete on CCW, we have made an exception for former WCW champion Dewey as he hopes to return to his natural calling in the ring

Though it's always a different person in ever movie, Ghostface has never managed to lose the personality that made him/her infamous and steal the heart of millions and now he/she plans on gutting someone on the CCW roster like a fish

Standup comedian Lewis Black known for his incredible style of comedy which involved yelling the pun of every joke and staring in his own late night comedy shows which surprisingly don't do that well

Known for her incredible heart breaking performance in what was called by many the most memorable song in history, Rebecca Black gains fame, fortune, and praise from celebrities alike proving that talent is a non-factor in becoming a success! Will she go on to prove this theory true as she takes it to CCW?

Never before has a talking doll struck so much fear in grown adults since Child's Play. Just what kind of games will the Saw Puppet want to play on the CCW roster when signed?

For some reason the most famous of all the fictional characters of the Jersey Shore comedy show. She herself is no stranger to the ring as she holds an unprecedented undefeated Wrestlemania streak. Snookie want smoosh smoosh and she plans on getting it in CCW.

In the first trade of CCW. Chairman of Execution became desperate to get Donald Trump and Mike the Situation to his show as he felt they would be key players. The Chairman of Champions had no big plans for either of them but was very interested in signing Casey Anthony to make her life a living hell. Both parties agreed and Casey Anthony was traded for Donald Trump, Mike The Situation, and Johnathan Coachman who was already getting on the nerves of the Champions Chairman

To fill the void of space on the Champions roster after giving up 3 celebrities for 1, Hugh Hefner persuaded Champions Chairman to sign 2 of the 3 Girls Next Door Kendra and Holly.

**Killswitch** · 07-10-2011, 10:11 AM

This is actually pretty good. I didn't think it would be when I first started to read it but it is funny, and I'm really interested to seeing more of it. Good job.

**unbeatableone05** · 07-11-2011, 01:19 AM

I love it. Great concept.

**CCW** · 07-14-2011, 02:52 AM

-Execution after Limit X
------------------

*Intro hits followed by Opening Pyro
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAQIJtr1dwE

*Danny Vegas theme (WHO ARE YA chants come from the crowd)

Vegas: Good evening ladies and gentlemen and WELCOME TO EXECUTION!! (WHO ARE YA, WHO ARE YA)
*pauses and looks at crowd with a grin* I'm the guy bringing you this damn show so let me finish
(booooooooooo) As I was saying, this is a history making night for everyone back there and out
here!! *small pop* Tonight is the first episode of Execution in our new home of PWSforums! And
we wanna kick things off right! So tonight, I'm gonna introduce you to quite
a few people. But before we get in on that. I wanna talk to you all about the draft. (yeahh)
As you all saw, we lost a huge component of our show that night. I mean an absolute difference
maker. Without this person, our show wouldn't have run as long as it did. We here at Execution
are very saddened with the loss of Demi Lovato to our roster. (yeahhhhhh) She was an important
person here and she will be missed dearly. Yeah, oh and our general manager is dead (shrugs
shoulders *that gets a few laughs*) Freddy Krueger killed Joe Buck and for that we here at
Execution only have one thing to say to you Fred. *pauses for a little bit* (frown quickly
turns into a smile) THNKS MAN! I gotta tell you, I've been meaning to fire that guy for a while
now, but there was no one I could replace him with. But now I have found his replacement via
the draft. So everyone, give it up for new GM and Color Commentator... BORAT!! *Borat gets
a big pop*

Borat: My name a Borat and I like these new show! *pop* So everyone wanting a good time, the
strip a club is down street yes? Im a the new general manager and Im gonna run this show like
I want to. And what I wanta is the voice of the people. *pop* Now, on the opinon of everyones
who wants to meet my new partner? *pop* Well give eet up for my new announcing buddy, Jonathen
Couchman! (Coach gets major heat)

*Borat kisses all over Coach when he gets in the ring*

Coach: I'll have you know it is a travesty to call you my boss. You completely butchered my name
there and I'll be damned to hell if I have to call the action with you! *BOO*

Borat: Well, is like a they say. If you don't wanta the job with your friend Borat, you can
find another job, yes? *pop* I'm you boss now. You show me a little bit a respect.

Coach: Alright, I'm only taking this job for now, but if you think for a split second that we're
friends, your DEAD wrong. *BOO*

Borat: YAY, WE'RE WORKING TOGETHER! HIGH FIVE! (Goes for high five but Coach just looks at him
in digust and makes his way to the announce table)

(In the announce table, Borat and Coach are recapping what happened at Limit X)

Coach: Well, I might as well give this table some credibilty. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome
to MY show, Execution. I'll be doing the talking around here while this moron attempts to run
this show. Last Sunday we had a...

Borat: Ey my friend you think Pamela the Anderson is hot yes?

Coach: That has nothing to do with what I was going to say.

Borat: But the question was not answered.

Coach: Well yeah, what man doesn't. *smiles but quickly gets mad* See this is why I didn't want
to do this! Damn it, anyway, last sunday we had a ppv. The PPV was called

Borat: What's a PPV?

Coach: It's an acronym that stands for pay-per view would you just..

Borat: Why no write pay-per view instead?

Coach: The writer of this must be lazy. Just LET ME FINISH ALREADY! Anyway, we had a PPV last
Sunday called Limit X. There were plenty of matches to talk about but, so we can continue
on with the show, we are gonna give you the results. Emily Osment defeated Victoria Justice to
become the new Divas Champion in an absolute fluke. Saulman and the Shame defeated Craxes
(Scarface and Ronaldinho) to become NEW tag team champions. George Lopez defeated Dane Cook to
retain the Intercontinental Championship after Shia LaBeouf interfered for some reason.
And in the main event, Scott van Pelt proceeded to become World Heavyweight Champion by
defeating Jake T Austin. It was a great PPV that most fans didn't see Bor.

Borat: I bet it was fantasmal. And I know it was for fact a...

******************Interrupted by Victoria Justice theme******************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ykMJAbE_Aw

Coach: And here comes the woman I believe was screwed out her Divas Championship last Sunday at
Limit X. Emily Osment should be fired right now and shh shh Borat she's gonna speak.

Justice: All of you know I was screwed out of winning the Divas Championship! *BOO*

Coach: I agree.

That slut named Emily Osment's career should be over!! Last night was nothing but a fluke!! And
I can prove to everyone right her right now that I deserve to be Divas Champion still. I bet no
one saw this before the match. (Shows a picture of Emily Osment taking pills) I bet those were
steroids! *BOO* She needs those to beat me. Only, with steroids would someone that weak and
disgusting defeat this. *points down around her body* You idiots cheer her in amazement and
for what? She has no curves like I do, she doesn't have the in-ring ability I do and you best
believe that she has nothing on my looks. *BOO* (You suck chants break out)

************Emily Osment theme************
*Small pop, not over with fans yet*

Coach: Oh how disrespectful can you be? She was right in the middle of what she had to say.

(stays on the ramp with Justice in the ring)

Osment: Really? I can't believe your so confident in all those things. I mean, so far you've
NEVER been able to beat me. *small pop* I think that might be eating away at you.

Justice: Let's get this straight you needed a bottle of STEROIDS to defeat me. Last time I checked,
that's against our wellness policy. Which means, you should be stripped of the title, which
means I should be Divas Champion. *smiles evily*

Osment: Well if you looked more closely at the footage you would see that I'm not taking
steroids smart one. I'm taking Midol there. Because Im on my period! (that gets a lot of laughs)

Coach: Well I don't think that was necessary

Borat: What's period?

Coach: It's a bullet we dodge now listen.

(cont):I needed to take that or else I wouldn't have been able to beat you in the middle of that ring.

Justice: Either way, you needed pills to beat me and I bet if we had another match for MY
Divas Championship, in a fair fight, you wouldn't touch me.

Osment: Whatever, makes you feel better. And you also seem to think you look better than me?
I don't think San Francisco agrees. *mediocre pop, bigger than when she came out*

Osment: Well, it seems like they think I look better than.. *Interrupted by Justice*

Justice: Oh please we're in San Francisco... and everyone knows that San Francisco is full of
gays.

Borat: You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?

They cheer you because you look like a man. The only thing you have that I don't is the
most important thing ever and that's MY Divas Championship.

Osment: You want a shot at my title? You're On!!!!! *mediocre pop* Tonight

Justice: Whoa whoa whoa... I'm not letting all these sausage smokers have the pleasure of watching
me in the ring tonight so.. what do you say next week?? In my hometown of Miami...

Osment: Any time... Any place.. Your going down. but one thing... I'm putting the Divas
Championship on the line and ONLY the Divas Championship. No crap about my career anymore. You
want to fight for this *holds up belt* fight only for this and not anything else.

Justice: Fine, I couldn't care less about your fail of a career because after I win my
championship back, you will be back to being Hannah Montana's lackey! And she doesn't even like
you. HAHAHAHAHA! Once I finish you, you'll be nothing but a stain on the underwear of CCW.

Coach: OH MAN, finally some redemption, next week. Victoria Justice is winning back her Divas
Championship and bringing it home.

Borat: They were pretty, and I think I want to a see both next week. So the match up is on. You
think we can make sexy time with them?

******************************************Dane Cook vs Ronaldinho****************************** ************

*Dane Cook theme* (gets a good pop)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs_Nd3kB-hk
Coach: Well, this should be a good match up right here as Ronaldinho is gonna go one on one
with Dane Cook. If your not too busy with that car magazine, who do you think can win this match?

Borat: I want a car with pussy magnet. You think that can do?

Coach: That's a station wagon. And we have a match about to go down.

*Ronaldinho theme* (no reaction at all)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hu59A3cuWIY

Borat: Ill checka the prices later. This man plays sport no?

Coach: Yes, this man is a great soccer player. Definitely one of the best in the world.

Borat: Is sexy time a sport? It sweaty a lot and I need a sleep after.

Coach: That's disgusting. Let's just talk about the match going on. Here comes Dane Cook's
high powered offense and you know he is upset after not winning the Intercontinental Championship
from George Lopez after Shia Labouef's interference. He must be picturing Shia LaBeouf's face
on Ronaldinho's after that robbery. Shia LaBeouf promised to be here to explain his actions last
Sunday.

Borat: You think that end up in fists?

Coach: It probably will. Unless you decide to ban Dane Cook or something. Oh no hear comes the
DANEDT! Here's the cover and that is all she wrote. See ya Ronaldinho.

Borat: Gimme second I have announcement.

*Borat grabs a mic and speaks to Dane in the ring*
Borat: My name-a Borat *extends hand and Dane smiles and shakes his hand* I hear you Shia
LaBeouf is no friend. *Cook shakes his head no* And he's here on his way. So I say you.. *looks
at coach* what was that coach? BANNED? *coach looks like he's signaling for him to stop and
cook looks at coach angrily* Dane you are to be banned from out here when Shia LaBeouf talks and
if you don't listen to the thing I have to say, you will be burned. High five.

*Cook is irrate and kicks Coach in the groin for telling Borat to say that*

Borat: I did good there right? I did what you said me to and he didn't get upset at me. *smiles
and looks at coach excited*

Coach: *scowls at Borat* Well, standing by are our new tag team champions Saulman and the Shame...

************ Interview with New Tag Champs LOB ******************
Coach: Well guys, you seem to be quite happy about your..

Saul: Whoa let me just stop you there jabroni... before we have to listen to
lame ass questions big time shout out to our suckas here in San Fran!! (Crowd cheers).. Home of
your 2010 World Champion GIANTS!! (Even bigger pop).. Now what was that you were saying clusterbuck?

Coach: I was just gonna ask you guys..

Shame: HA check this guy out Saul. What is this? *Points at his funny looking tie* Who the hell
picked out your wardrobe? Prince? (Crowd laughs) Look here jabroni, we don't like taking
questions from lackeys like yourself. Only our homeboys can ask us the questions where we answer
you know what im saying?

Coach: Look guys, I'm just out here to...

*Some kind of lion sounding animal growling sounds and the lights go out...
we have to end this promo

**************Scott van Pelt theme hits************
*Decent pop for the World Champion*

Coach: Well, that was rude of them, I'm glad that thundering strike scared them off. Here comes
another fluke champion Scott van Pelt. What the hell does he want out here?

Borat: That belt he has is a shiny. You think he'll give it to me

Coach: You really don't know about your job do you?

(van Pelt has a mic and is looking at the announcers table)
van Pelt: Someone told me you had an announcement and I just couldn't sit back there and wait
so come in here and tell your world champion what it is.

Borat: I no have announcement. Unless you want match tonight yes? Ok, you fight champion so tonight
you fight one on one with the Intercontimanental Champion George Lopeez! *POP*

van Pelt: Well that's just fine with me. I might as well teach that kid a lesson or two about
respect. But I hear you had another announcement. And unless you want the Jake T Austin treatment
you'll tell me what it is.

Borat: I have no announcement to tell you of.

van Pelt: See, these things make me angry and upset. And when I get angry and upset I tend to..

*******************Before he can finish, Jake T Austin attacks Scott from behind. He leave Scott a bloody
mess after a couple chair shots and a stunner.*************************

(During the attack, Coach said)
Coach: CMon, Scott give him some. OH LOOK OUT! Jake T Austin assaulting Scott van Pelt. I can't
say that I blame him after last Sunday's atrocious acts from Scott van Pelt. But I really wanted
to see Scott beat the tar out of Borat. I think Austin may have had something to do with that
rumor of that "announcement" Borat was supposed to have. OH WHAT A VICIOUS CHAIR SHOT! This
can't be happening, Scott has a match with the Intercontinental Champion later! Someone's gonna
pay for this and I think that someone's name is Jake T Austin

******************************Saulman w/Shame vs Eminem *******************************
**Saul and Shame get huge pops from their home crowd but so does Eminem
It looks like the crowd is hot for this one************************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRNWtR6tj4w

(Eminem is on the mic before the match)
Eminem: Yo, look at these two clowns I'm fighting tonight, everybody laugh
The only thing you two got over me is you massage each other's calfs (Oh sounds from the crowd)
Look look, you two are tag champs and I got mad respect
But the fact you two got homies means that you suck *holds mic in air while the fans say "dick"*

Coach: Well that was unique. Funny rap there by Eminem set to go one on one with half of the
tag team champions, Saulman. Saulman the quicker of the two tag team champion as you see there
from that monkey flip. Eminem getting out of the ring to take a breather here.

Borat: He's a scared. He knows he no win tonight. That's why he wanted talk before match. I see
him in gym. He's weakling.

Coach: Yeah ok, and here comes Saulman with a quick baseball slide to the outside. And look out
Saul looks like he wants to fly! OH AN OVER TOP PLAUNCHA! He got him as good as you can get anyone.
They are outside the ring now and the ref is starting the 10 count. Let's take another look at
that amazing move. *Replay of the plauncha* Have you ever seen anything like that?

Borat: In my country they would go crazy for that.

Coach: OH look at this Eminem with a roll up. One two NO! only a two count. Did you see that
he had the tights there?

Borat: Er.. that not so much.

Coach: Well now Eminem is on the attack after he was thrown back in the ring by the Shame and
judt completely took over on the offense. Eminem stomping away at Shame and this is why I think
Eminem can be a big ball player for years to come. And now Eminem hits a modified powerbomb. Cover
One, two only a two count for Eminem and he cannot afford to get frustrated here.

Borat: He can't. I was the frustrated when girl didn't give me sexy time and she never ended
gaveing me sexy time. So no frustrated Shame.

Coach: Right, anyway look out here! Roll up One Two Three!! Shame wins with a school boy!!
Eminem shouldn't have argued with the referee on that 2 count and he paid the price by losing
the match.

Borat: Theese is nice. They shake hands after match. Makes me happy to be boss.

Coach: Well a very good match up and what's this??

************************** A Video with a Bengal on it growling is on the titantron**************************
(Saulman and the Shame are looking at it and then look at each other, fans are booing)

******************** Scarface update************************************* **
Doctor: (with highlights of Scarface in pain and parts where he got hurt playing) Well, it
looked like he may never compete again. But with the help of 3 surgeries and
a lot of time, we got Tony Montana's leg fixed. We thought he would never compete again. But all
he needs is some healing time and he'll be fine. He'll be back soon.

Scarface: Jea I know. I've been shot here and der but holy fuck in dam I neva been in dat much
pain. Ju know dat du crack is gonna be waitin for me at my house. And once I get my hands on that,
I'll be back sooner that ju think. Im tellin ya this show is like a great big pussy waitin to
get fucked. And for dose guys who took me out? You wanna go to war?! Craxes will take you to war,
okay?!
******************** Ends with highlights of Scarface's biggest hits ************************************

Coach: It looks like Scarface will be returning soon. And I personally cannot wait to see him
exercise his personal demons on those LOB characters. LOB may have enough on their plate after
this bengal thing has showed up on them for 2 straight weeks, but now knowing that Scarface is
healing and coming back soon? Man, they're gonna have trouble sleeping and I'm loving every minute
of it.

Borat: Is that bengal coming? I see a lot a people fright. I no want anyone leaving the show
too soon.

******************************************* Shia LaBeouf theme *************************************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWlnwGU3lnY

Coach: Well, I can tell you who is coming and that is Shia LaBeouf. He's out here to explain
why he cost Dane Cook his match against George Lopez at the last PPV and the Intercontinental
Championship. Good call on banning Dane Cook from ringside.

Borat: I did that? Maybe fans will enjoy more if this ends in fight. Dane Cook is unbanned.

Coach: Shh shh he's gonna talk

******* He gets a lot of heat, I guess people dig Dane Cook*******

LaBeouf: For those who don't know my name, I am Shia LaBeouf. *BOO* I starred in many movies and
I'm very popular. *YOU SUCK YOU SUCK* And I know you're all wondering, why Shia why? Well, I didn't
even wanna show up to this stupid show but I've been told to apologize by Danny Vegas. I was
told that I have to apologize to Dane Cook for costing him the Intercontinental Championship.
The fact of the matter is, I am sorry. *small pop* I'm sorry I left Dane Cook BREATHING. *BOOO*
See, the problem with me and him goes all the way back to 2007. 2007 marks the year I made the
best movie of my career. That was the year "Transformers" came out. And the success of the
movie was great. I was getting calls left and right from guys like Jay Leno, David Letterman,
Kelly Ripa, Oprah Winfrey, hell even Ellen wanted me to be on her show. But the problem was,
on all those shows, Dane Cook was there before me. Why you might ask. Well, people went absolutely
orgasmic over his stuff that year. He just HAD to have all his stuff come out that year. Whether
it be "Good Luck Chuck," the DVD release of "Employee of the Month" or "Vicious Circle. Whenever
I read the paper, All I ever saw was crap about Dane Cook's movies. When I spoke to my family
members or my girlfriend, they asked "Why don't you make more REAL movies?" "REAL movies are
better than making robot movies." That ate me up. REAL. Everyone shoved that DAMN WORD DOWN MY
THROAT! *BOO* So at Limit X, I did something about it. And now, the only thing REAL is the fact that
I kicked Dane Cook's ass and cost him his most coveted prize. And now, he wants to hunt me down.
Well, come on down here Dane and get you a piece. *pop* Oh wait, Bin Laden over here banned you
from ringside didn't he? Oh well, I guess you'll have to wait until I FEEL LIKE kicking your ass
for that confrontation to happen. *BOOOOO*

*Borat grabs a mic and stands up from the announce table*

Borat: I guess you hear not. I say Dane Cook may come out now if he want. He deserve to come out
and give you kick in ass after what you say. *BIG POP*

******************DANE COOK ATTACKS SHIA LABEOUF FROM BEHIND AND THIS IS IN CAPS BECAUSE THE CROWD IS GOING NUTS****************************************** ************

Coach: Now why'd you have to go and do that? Look at this! This is a mugging! Give me a break!
How can people cheer a man who isn't even man enough to go in his face!! And thank God here
comes security. Finally some damn sanctuary around here. See what you caused? Shia is bleeding.

Borat: SCORE! The people love it!! High five!

Coach: OH MY GOD! Cook can't be contained by the police! He's still getting pieces of Shia!!!
Somebody get on him!! Get ANOTHER DAMN SECURITY GUARD ON HIM!!!

Borat: Oh my gypsy he pissed isn't he?

Coach: You think? This is all YOUR fault. You just had to un-ban Dane Cook didn't you? It's your
fault that Shia LaBeouf is a bloody mess!!

Borat: But people love it! And only you hate it. I love these side of Dane Cook!

Coach: Well, finally he's escorted out and we may need a strecher for Shia LaBeouf! Standing by
backstage, our colleague, Megan Fox is backstage with George Lopez.

********************************Backstag e interview with George Lopez before the main event******************************
Fox: George, we are just moments away from your first main event on this show! A lot of people
are questioning Scott's condition before the match, and I gotta ask you, do you think it's a fair
fight?

George: Sabes que? It don't need to be a fair fight. A win is a win in the Lopez way.

Fox: Would you really feel like you won with an injured Scott van Pelt out there?

George: Mirala! Its like I said whether he makes it or not, George Lopez is gonna win the match
tonight. And then I'm gonna celebrate like this WATCHA! (Holds up Intercontinental Title)

!!!!!!!!!!!! CRASH A firework explodes behind them !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And we see something on the small titantron behind them!!
In a disguised voice the promo says: HELLO GEORGE! YOU MAY HAVE NEVER MET ME BUT I KNOW YOU'VE
HEARD PLENTY OF ME! AND IN A MONTH, YOU'LL MEET ME! (Evil Laugh as the promo shows fire burning)

*George looks freaked out*

Coach: What the hell was that about? Something just freaked George out and that might completely
distract him from his match. This match should be cancelled and George should be taken to a
psychiatrist!

Borat: Doesn't Scott have a concussion?

************ George Lopez theme ************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_4-rIJG7uI
(Gets some cheers from men but mostly mediocre heat)
Coach: And here he comes, poor man still forced to compete. Be a man and end this for the safety
of your Intercontinental Champion!

Borat: Haha you funny friend. I no cancel main event.

******** Scott van Pelt theme ************
(Gets a pretty good reaction this time around)
Coach: And where is the almighty world champion? This guy is nothin but a fluke champion! It makes
me sick that this guy represents our brand! This guy has absolutely nothing to offer us.

Borat: Where is Scott?

(Theme stops and he is re-introduced as his theme begins again)
Coach: Still a no-show. This man is an abomination to the internet entertainment world. Appauling
that this man is the one people look at to judge the rest of our show.

*Bell rings and ref starts his 10 count*
(The referee gets to a count of 5 before SVP shows up!!)
*Scott gets a huge reaction and has his head bandaged with blood stains on the
outside*
Scott makes it to the ring before the 10 count and George quickly goes after his head. George is
punching him in the corner and Scott goes down. While Scott is down in the corner, George taunts
the San Francisco corwd by flashing his Raiders jersey and yelling "VIVA MEXICO!" That gets a few
cheers. Scott comes from behind him and hits an akward looking clothesline and both men go down!
Scott crawls to a cover but only gets a one count. George gets back up and has blood on his hand.
He makes that face where he looks like he's throwing up and asks for a towel. He cleans it up,
gets back in and hits a DDT! Cover 1! 2!! NO!!! Only 2 as Scott van Pelt continues to fight through
the pain and agony. George looks upset. He wants to finish it. He goes for a scoop slam but
Scott reverses it into a small package!!! 1! 2!! NO!!! ONLY 2 as George was almost upset there.
George picks up Scott going for a vertical suplex but it's countered into a DDT!! Scott stumbles
back up after the fans clap for him. George goes for a clothesline but Scott ducks and hits a
clothesline! Here comes Scott! George tries to go at him with everything but walks into a spinebuster!!
Scott waits for George to get back up. He turns around and walks into the VAN STRIKER!!
(swinging neckbraker) HERE'S THE COVER 1! 2!! AND NO!!! ONLY TWO AS THAT WAS SOO CLOSE TO A THREE
COUNT AND AN UPSET!!! Scott is upset and still moving slowly with a head injury. He positions
George on the top rope and wants a VAN STRIKER from the top rope!!!!! The fans are going nuts
in anticipation of seeing this move! George manages to throw the world champion off and goes
for and misses a cross body!! It looked like van Pelt just collapsed on that one! George picks
up an almost lifeless Scott van Pelt and hits a BORDER TOSS!! COVER 1! 2!! 3!!!!!! GEORGE LOPEZ
HAS JUST PINNED THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!! The crowd is very upset!

Coach: HAHA Can you believe that? Our world champion just lost to an injured George Lopez! You
call THAT a champion?? HAHAHHAHA What a great main event and now look at this, re-gaining justice!

Borat: Scott was injured too Coach these was not even a match. It was two men attempting to over
come somethin they just went through.

Coach: Either way I'm loving this!

(George attacks and beats on Scott van Pelt at the end of the match)
George Lopez is now attacking Scott van Pelt punching him in the skull! Lopez gets up from the
assault and signals for someone! JAKE T AUSTIN RUNS DOWN THE RAMP AND JOINS IN ON THE ASSAULT!!
Jake asks George to pick up Scott and Jake hits him in the skull with the Intercontinental title!
He picks him up himself this time for him to hit the stunner!! Lopez holds up his Intercontinental
Championship the way he told Megan Fox he would do! Jake grabs the World Heavyweight Championship
and puts his foot over Scott! They both hold up the titles as we close the show!!!

**DramaShark** · 07-18-2011, 12:54 PM

a celebrity wrestling creative isn't anything new but I do admire the detail and effort you put into this one. Good job! But personally, I would have preferred, as the reader, if you would have kept it strictly true life celebrities and left of fictional characters like Freddy Krueger and Michael Myers. Also, I was kind of scratching my head on Osama being there. All and all a tremendous job, though I would recommend some slight tweaking.

**CCW** · 07-18-2011, 03:04 PM

-

Kyle Brofloski: Welcome one and all to-

Eric Cartman: *obviously reading a script* Welcome one and all to this huge edition of Champions of the world! Introduce yourself and your partners

Kyle: I think it means we have to all say our names

Cartman: I know that! I was just taking a dramatic pause. My name is Eric Cartman, I like pie, I hate Stand and Kyle but I hate Kenny the most

Kyle: You're just supposed to say your name not tell everyone your life story you fat a**

Cartman: DON'T CALL ME FAT YOU STUPID JEW!

Kenny Mccormick: (muffled cheering)

Kyle: Kenny's right, if we can't do this commentary job right then we're not gonna make the 5 bucks that hippie promised us

Cartman: Well Kyle, if you would shut up for 2 seconds and let me finish *reading* Last week Friday was the night of the draft. Listed below are the draft picks for Champions of the World. Dwayne Johnson, Lindsay- Lindsay Lohan? LINDSAY LOHAN?!?!

Kyle: Yup, that's what it says. It also says Freddy Krueger, Miranda Cosgrove, Demi La...vooto, Amanda Bynes, Vanessa Hud-gens, Chucky the doll, Caseyface, and Jessi Slogter

Cartman: Aww sick! You mean to tell me I gotta be on the same show as Lindsay "crackwhore" Lohan and Britney "bigger crackwhore" Spears? Not cool! I did not sign up for this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBhXZ6_xObw

Cartman: Oh great! Who's this douchebag interrupting me?

Kyle: Says here his name is.... Sexy Phil and he's the boss for the show

Sxephil: And so the war has officially begun! For those of you who don't know, Champions of the World is officially in battle with Execution and that means each and every week you are going to get nothing but the best! Not just for you here in attendance but for everyone watching at home! You see our commentary team over there?

Cartman: Don't point at me, douchebag

Sxephil: Every week we will present to you a new commentary team and eventually we'll let you guys decide who you want to listen to every week on the show. We got a whole line up for the next few weeks that guarentees to have you all saying-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBvz7yIGiKQ
*Hugh Hefner comes out with Holly hanging to his left arm and Kendra on his right*

Sxephil: Hold on a second, Hugh. You know I appreciate you and all but you can't just interrupt me in mid sentence like that man. I got a huge announcement to make to these people and-

Kendra: *stealing the mic from Sxephil* Oh yea? Well guess what? You can share your announcement with your little Internet buddies because it sure as hell won't be on this show!

Hefner: What Kendra means to say, is that sometimes in the business world, you have people that can fill a position and do their job great... and then you have those who aren't so great

Kendra: Do you have to sugar coat it? Long story short, your scrawny behind is out like cingular so buh-bye don't let the door hit your a** on the way out

Sxephil: No one ever told me I was out of a job

Kendra: Are you deaf? That's what we're telling you right now!

Hefner: Now,now Kendra. No need to sound so disrespectful. The Chairman of this broadcast felt it was in their best interest to move into a different direction with their management and they felt there were more deserving people of your position

Sxephil: More deserving people? Like who?

Kendra: OH MY GOD! Do we have to spell it out for you? Your being kicked off the show and Hugh is replacing you! No, don't try and respond just walk on backstage, pack your crap, get the fudge out, and go vlog about this little experience to all your little nerd buddies online. Thank you! *tosses Phil's mic out of the ring and it hits Kenny in the head knocking him down*

Kyle: OH MY GOD THEY KILLED- *Kenny sits back up rubbing his head* Oh nevermind

Kendra: *frustrated that Sxephil won't leave the ring* You really wanna test Hugh's patience? Suit yourself

Hugh: Phil, that's your name correct? I was afraid something like this might happen. I'm sorry this just couldn't have been a peaceful farewell but I'm going to have to enforce my authority as the general manager of this promotion by making a match. I had this guy waiting in case of something like this. I'll even be fair and throw in a stipulation, if you can defeat this particular individual in a one-on-one match right now, I will keep you around as a member of the roster and you can earn yourself a spot in the championship picture. What do you think about that? *Sxephil nods* Wonderful, this is going to be a very special type of match. A Nightmare match! Holly, if you would do the honors *Holly knocks Sxephil in the back of the head with a playboy pillow and knocks him out*

Match #1 Sxephil vs Freddy Kruger
Nightmare Match

Sxephil wakes up inside the ring in an empty arena. Freddy Krueger can be heard laughing. Sxephil turns around and sees Freddy chilling in the corner.

Freddy: You just had to do this the hard way didn't you? Well now you'll be doing things my way! But just what way will that be?

Freddy snaps his claws and the ring is surrounded by a steel cage

Freddy: Ahh. Steel cage. Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide. Just me and you man to man. Or maybe you'll like this a little better.

Freddy snaps his claws again and the ring is surrounded by a Hell in a Cell

Freddy: Much fancier don't you think? Some like to call this Satan's playground but I call it home.

Fredy snaps his fingers and the ring is surrounded by fire as an inferno match

Freddy: Or maybe this fits your taste a little more? Yes I certainly feel at home now!

Sxephil gets up and charges at Freddy. Freddy teleports to the other side of the ring and laughs menacingly. He tolds his hand out telling him he came this close. The fire raises. Sxephil charges at Freddy once again but in what feels like slow motion. Freddy continues to laugh and taunt Phil. Freddy snaps his claws and appears behind Phill saying "boo". Sxephil swings behind himself to hit Freddy but he disappears once again.

Sxephil: Real nice! How about you quit the illusion and fight me man to man!

Freddy's voice echoes "Your wish is my command". Freddy appears in front of Phill and punches him in the head a million times like a cartoon punching a punching bag. Freddy continues to bunch Phil with both hands while using 3rd arm to drink lemonaid.

Freddy: Aww, I'm sorry but sounds like our producers are telling us we gotta wrap this up! *flips Phill into a reverse chin lock on the ground and whispers in his ear* OK let's bring this home, irish whip into a backdrop in the fire, you get all that? Good!

Freddy pretends like Sxephil is fighting out of the chin lock saying "No! no!" Freddy whips Sxephil to the ropes and catches him off the rebound flipping him over his back out side the ring where the fire rises up and fills the entire arena. A second Freddy is seen wearing a referee shirt with a Mr.Kennedy microphone.

Freddy: And the winner of the match, Kruuuuuuuuuuuegerrrrrrrrr r!

Freddy celebrates on the ropes while the fans in the arena, which are all different versions of Freddy, are going crazy and confetti falls from the ceiling. Another version of Freddy Krueger is seen on the announcers table

Announcer Freddy: We have just seen an instant classic people! Don't go anywhere because we will be back after these messages from our sponsors!

Hugh Hefner is introduced to his new office with Kendra and Holly

Hefner: Well this is nice, I can see why Phil wouldn't want to leave this place

Holly: Wow it's so big in here to! I like big things!

Kendra: You and me both! We have got to clear half this crap though cause right about now it smells like hot a** and I can not work under these conditions

Shaycarl: *walking in* Hey, Hugh! *Kendra screams* Hey it's alright, I just wanted to be the first person to welcome you to the Champions team! *extends hand. Hugh doesn't shake* That's fine. Well, right before Sxephil left I was promised a rematch for the world heavyweight championship against Jon Lajoie at the next pay-per-view but we never officially got that in writing so-

Hefner: So you want me to give you that championship shot is that correct? *shaycarl nods* I'll have you know I have already been planning on making cuts to the current roster and honestly as I look at you right now you don't seem to have the look of someone I would have much use for in this company. I don't even know who you are

Shaycarl: I don't think that's being very fair, sir. I have a lot to offer to this show which is why I wanna get the chance to show you that tonight

Hefner: Is that so? Tell you what, I like giving other opportunities so tonight I'll give you yours. Rather than wait the next pay-per-view I'll give you your world championship match in the main event. Impress me and I just might find something for you

Shaycarl: That's all I ask for sir is an opportunity

Hefner: Find a young lady to walk you down to the ring, you could use someone out there to make you look good

Holly: *getting excited* I'll do it! I wanna do it! Pick me! Pick me!

Shaycarl: Alright you can do it sounds great! Thanks, Hugh! Promise I won't disappoint!

Hefner: I sure hope not cause if you do, I'm afraid you will have to find work elsewhere *Shay nods and walks away*

Selena Gomez meets Demi Lovato in the woman's locker room

Selena: Hey there champion! *Selena and Demi cheer annoyingly and hug* It's so awesome that we're on the same show now! Is this locker room really as bad as the one in Execution?

Demi: So far the worst I've had to deal with is Chris Crocker harassing me for makeup so far not near as creepy especially with you being here!

Selena: That's one thing I can now stand about this locker room! So, big rematch tonight with Miley, you mind if I stand there rooting you on again?

Demi: You know it! That's kind of cool, the both of us hold wins over Miley now and she still thinks she's better than us?

Voice: I don't believe it!

Selena and Demi look around trying to find out where the voice came from

Voice: Up here geniuses

Selena and Demi look up and see Chucky sitting on the top of the lockers waving. The two of them scream and run out of the locker room. Chucky asks what the problem is and cracks a cheesy joke and trademark laughs.

Kenny, Kyle, and Cartman talking on commentary

Cartman: - a pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven! HAHAHAHA!

Kyle: Dude that's not even- Oh I think the guys are telling us we're back on TV

Cartman: Great now Kyle would you mind shutting up please *reading* Explain what happened last week when Lindsay... Eww gross! Kyle you can talk about Lindsay crackwhore Lohan

Kyle: Um... it says talk about last week when Lindsay came out drunk and how Bohosolo kicked her in the gut and made her throw up

Kenny: (muffled talking)

Cartman: *laughing* Yea that was f******* up! *reads script* Coming up next will be the match to settle the score between Bohosolo and.... NO! NOOOOOOO! Screw this! I refuse talk about anything involving Lindsay crackwhore Lohan! She's a dirty rotten traitor jew just like you and I don't want anything to do with that

Kyle: She's not even a Jew anymore you dumb a** she dropped that once she broke up with her girlfriend

Cartman: Yea right! It's not like you can decide if you want to be a Jew or not! Once a Jew always a Jew, Kyle!

Match #2 Bohosolo vs Lindsay Lohan

Bohosolo entrance
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wy20Q761osI

Kyle: Jew isn't an ethnicity it's a religion that shows how much you know

Cartman: That's wrooooong! Lindsay crackwhore Lohan represents everything I hate, a ginger and jew!

Kyle: Wrong again fat a** she's not a ginger anymore she died her hair blonde years ago

Cartman: You can take the red hair out of the ginger but you can't take the ginger out of the red hair!

Kyle: That doesn't even make any sense

Cartman: Of course it doesn't make sense to you, ginger Jews don't understand anything all they wanna do is hoard their Jew gold

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1wT5RURw1k
Lindsay Lohan's theme plays for 20 seconds but she doesn't show up. Her theme plays again and she is being carried to the ring by security. She's obviously wasted and struggles walking on her own. She tries to high five the fans forgetting that she's heel and stumbles over trying to get into the ring. The ref holds Boho back as Lindsay hangs on the ropes to stand. The referee pretends to check Bohosolo for hidden weapons while passing a message from management that this is a "Jeff Hardy" situation. The ref tries to do the same to Lindsay but she laughs historically when the ref touches her as if she's being tickled. The ref rings the bell. Bohosolo runs across the ring and spears Lindsay. Lindsay lays on the ground laughing no-selling the move. Boho goes for the pin and ref makes a quick 3 count as Lindsay tries to kick out but Boho keeps her down.

Cartman: You see, Kyle? You see why ginger Jews don't belong in wrestling? This is why! They ruin everything! I hope you finally see my point once a ginger Jew always a ginger Jew

Winner: Bohosolo

Michael Buckley interview with Miley Cyrus backstage

Buck: What the buck! Miley, last week you suffered a devastating loss at the hands of your opponent tonight, Demi Lovato! I'm sure you've figured out what you did wrong and how you can improve so that the same mistake doesn't happen twice am I right?

Miley: Oh totally! The problem last week had nothing to do with me. The problem last week had to do with Emily screwing me over and being an ignorant little... *cooling down* I'm Miley Cyrus. I have the best of both worlds. Life is what I make it. And any other cheesy line you wanna throw in there. What has Emily ever done? No one knows Emily as some super famous celebrity. They know her as being my sidekick on Hannah Montana. That's all she ever was and that's all she'll ever be. She never got over the fact that people just love me more than her.

Buck: Uh-oh! Do I smell some drama brewing there? You guys used to be the best of friends! What happened?

Miley: What happened was she was jealous of me, that's it! She never got- Why are were even talking about her? She's not even on this show let's just move on and forget she even exists just like 90% of the world has already! Selena and Demi are the same way, they're jealous that I'm just a much bigger celebrity than both of them combined and it doesn't matter how much TV shows they star in, how many charities they donate to, or much drama they try to start in their own lives for attention, I will always be 10 names ahead of them. Now if you excuse me, I'm gonna go prove that! *walks off*

Jamie Lynn Spears is walking down the halls and is confronted by Paris Hilton

Paris: Jamie! What a coincidence to just bump into you here isn't that strange!

Jame: If strange is your way of saying you were looking all over the building for me then yes this is quite strange isn't it?

Paris: Aww what's wrong? Are you not as happy to bump into me as I am to bump into you? After all, we did used to be like family at one time and I certainly recall a time when-

Jamie: Don't even try with that manipulation stuff, Paris. I know exactly what you're trying to do and it's not gonna work on me

Paris: *fake gasp, fake acting* Just what kind of person do you think I am! I just so happen to miss spending time with the sister of my best friend

Jamie: Sure you do. May I pass now?

Paris: *smiling* Look, I just want you to pass a message to Britney is all. I know she's still upset about the whole me costing her the US title and putting her #1 fan in the hospital and all that. I think this whole fight is silly and I just wanna make up. I went out of my way to get her a special present but since she's not here tonight I was hoping you could let her know to make sure to come next week because I really just wanna make things right with her. For real, it's like sooo not worth the drama anymore!

Jamie: If I say yes would that make you get out my way? *Paris nods* then fine consider your message sent!

Paris: That's hot! Kisses! *air kisses and let's Jamie pass, smiling*

Match #3 Sarah Palin vs Osama Bin Ladin

Sarah Palin enters the arena to tons of whistles from all the men in the crowd and boo's from the jealous women. Palin shakes the hands of the fans as she walks down the ramp. One fan grabs on and doesn't wanna let go so he gets taken off by security and as Palin walks toward the ring you hear screams of "DON'T TAZE ME BRO". Palin stands in the ring and awaits her opponent. The lights are dimmed.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGfxoSZ0qjM
Osama Bin Ladin comes out with a group of terrorists. Osama whispers something to the group and they all run down the ring and surround it Nexus style. Osama does some kind of hand signal and one of the terrorists hops in the ring and takes off his robe to reveal a time bomb strapped to his chest. Palin tries to run away but the other terrorists prevent her from leaving the ring. The terrorist hits a lou thez press on Palin and holds her down. One of the terrorist throws a blanket over them and within 10 seconds an explosion happens and blood and guts spills all over the ring. Sarah Palin's decapitated head exlodes from out of the ring and flies smashing Kenny in the head on commentary killing him.

Kyle: Oh my god! They killed Kenny!

Cartman laughs hysterically. Osama gets on the mic and says something in arabic then leaves angry backstage. The terrorists walk in a straight line back as Osama calls them backstage.

Joe Jonas outside the Staples Center talking to someone on the phone

Joe: Yea I agree completely.... no I don't think they figured it out yet... well don't worry bro I got it all under control... sweet! Alright, I gotta go check to make sure everythings in place, talk to you later, Austin *hangs up*

Kevin: *walking into the picture with Nick* Austin? As in JAKE T Austin?

Joe: Oh what's up guys? I was just talking to my buddy Steve

Nick: Really? What exactly was up with you and Jake last week? I mean, first you screw us when drawing names out of hats and then you go and make an alliance with the other team to make sure you win?

Joe: Oh and you think I had something to do with that?

Nick: It doesn't sound like much of a coincidence to us. If you were really in on some kind of act with them you can tell us it's cool

Joe: I wouldn't lie to you guys, you guys are like family to me! I wouldn't lie to family. That's the Jonest truth

Nick: Jonest?

Joe: I just thought that up, Jonas plus honest, jonest it can catch on... either way trust me I was caught off guard by that just as much as you when that happened

Kevin: Whether you had anything to do with it or not, we were promised a rematch for the tag belts against Rhett and Link at the next pay-per-view. Are you gonna be able to be on the same page until then

Joe: You know it my brothers- *a group of teenage girls step into the scene going crazy*

Annoying fan #1: *shouting* OH MY GOD IT'S THE JONAS BROTHERS! WE LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

Annoying fan #2: *also shouting* CAN WE PLEASE SMELL YOUR UNDERWEAR!

Annoying fan #3: *nervous and sweaty* Uhm... I really... Uhm.... YOU GUYS RULE.... well I mean if you guys want to rule then that's cool...

Joe: Yea that's... wait what did the last one say? Anyway, you guys have fun signing autographs I' have something to- *Annoying fan #2 grabs on to Joe's leg*

Annoying fan #2: *screaming* NOOOOOOOOO!!!! DON'T LEAVE ME HERE WITH THESE CREATURES!!!!! I'VE WAITED MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT!!!! MARRY ME!!!!!!!

Joe: Security! *the jonas brothers try to run away while the crazy fans chase them*

Caseyface walks into Hugh Hefner's office. Kendra and Holly are in the background pretending to do things.

Caseyface: What is up, Hugh? I have been a big fan for so long it's so great to actually meet you in person!

Hefner: *confused* I'm sorry and who might you be again?

Caseyface: Oh, sorry! I'm Caseyface, I'm sort of popular on the internet

Hefner: Ah, you don't say? What is it you do that makes you popular?

Caseyface: *grinning* That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about. I know your like the man to talk to when it comes to-

Miranda Cosgrove: *stepping in* Hey, Hugh I just wanted to ask- *looks back and forth between Casey and Hefner* I'm sorry am i interrupting something?

Hefner: Not at all. What were you saying?

Miranda: I wanted to ask if it would be possible to air episodes of my webcast "ICarly" at any time on the show? I know Jennette isn't contracted or anything but she's willing to sign any legal rights documents or whatever and it would mean a lot to the both of us

Caseyface: Are you kidding me? You really want to reenact hat fake garbage TV show? You realize that type of stuff is a load of garbage in the real online world, you wouldn't last 5 minutes with 4chan

Miranda: Oh... that's nice... I'm sorry, who are you?

Caseyface: I'm someone who has actually made a name via live web shows like your little ICarly stuff the only difference is I'm real

Miranda: Oh that's awesome! I can respect that, where can I find your internet stuff?

Caseyface: *pause* ...I can guarantee you more people are interested in watching my web shows than yours

Kendra: Here's an idea, NOBODY CARES!

Hefner: Young ladies, there is no need to argue. Miranda, I do enjoy your shows. You have a bright future ahead of you. Casey, I will have to find out more about you but I'm sure you're talented in your own right. I'm afraid we already have two talk show segments that need their time and we can't make room another.

Kendra: In other words, buh-bye! That goes for the both of you

Caseyface: I haven't even said what I needed to say yet

Kendra: No you've said enough for one week. BUH-BYE!

Match #4 Demi Lovato w/t Selena Gomez vs Miley Cyrus

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgHgppQOfp0
Demi makes her entrance posing alongside Selena. The two high five fans on the way to the ring because they actually care about their fans unlike The Bella Twins. Miley makes her entrance next to a mixed reaction because the little kiddy's and girls don't know she's supposed to be the bad guy.

The bell rings and Selena is on the outside cheering Demi on. Miley points at Selena telling her to stay back. Selena holds her hands in the air saying she's not doing anything. Demi rolls Miley up from behind with a schoolgirl. Miley kicks out after a 1 and a half count. Miley gets to her feet as Demi waits to hit a clothline. Miley rolls out the ring before Demi can make contact and walks around outside the ring. Selena yells at Miley to get back in the ring. Miley yells something back so dirty it can't be repeated on PG TV. Miley teases getting back in the ring then backs off when Demi gets ready to charge at her. Miley asks for a microphone from some fat guy at ringside.

Miley: You must really think I was born yesterday! Hello! This is exactly how I got cheated the first time! Minus Emily. I know exactly what you guys are trying to do and it ain't gonna work with me nuh-uh! No siry bob! *starts walking backward up the ramp as the ref counts to 10* I am not gonna be the victim of a 2 on 1 attack so you know what if you wanna fight fair and square we can do this another but time... but right now? No thank you! *turns around and walks back stage as the ref counts 10 and the match is over*

The bell rings and Demi rolls her eyes as Selena hops in the ring to celebrate anyway

Kyle and Cartman on commentary with rats eating Kenny's body on the floor

Kyle: Oh now? Uhm... *looking at script* It says next week you are not gonna wanna miss this because the Rock will be there live to make his champions of the world debut

Cartman: *bad reading* Last week was a super sweet episode because Obama and George Bush got kidnapped by a bunch of terrorists. Earlier tonight those same terrorists suicide bombed Sarah Palin to send a message that the US government is no longer safe

Kyle: Yup and they also wanna prove that because they just released this footage the other night. Eww sick they have them locked in their basement like hippies!

Cartman: Aww sweet! I wanna see!

Video package showing how George Bush and Obama are being tortured into watching "The Chaperone " staring Triple H and Ezekiel Jackson promos. They are forced to memorize every song by Justin Bieber. They are forced to eat a cake that Ricky Martin has popped out of and danced on while wearing a speedo. Every night before they go to bed they are read old TNA magazines and have to use jelly doughnuts as toilet paper. Their beds are made out of dead cow and their blankets made of used thongs. Strangely George Bush seems to be enjoying all this.

Jerry Springer is set up in the ring. Jessi Slaughter is sitting in the ring with her father.

Jerry: Welcome to the show! Tonight we have two very special guests here. They became hit internet sensations just over a year ago and they have been through hell and back since then so please help me in welcoming, Jessi Slaughter and.... HER FATHER! *crowd heat* Can you believe it? It has been a year since the world became aware of who Jessi Slaughter was and ever since then you have had to go through harassment, death threats, prank calls, and certainly much more. Has this been a tough year for you and your family?

Jessi: Pshhhh! Yea right! I don't care! People that hate me are just jealous bitches that have no life and wish they were me! I really don't give a fuck about the haters they can keep hating all they want but the fact is I'm pretty and famous and they're not!

Jerry: Well it appeared in the video that blew up the internet last year you were in tears because of all the harassment and- *Jessi motions for Jerry to hand her the mic*

Jessi: Look, I already said it was all an act! I went on Stickam and told the world that I'll take any attention I can get and I got it! Everyone that hates on me is just mad that I tricked them and I became an overnight sensation over it while they just sit on their computers and jerk off to beasti... dog porn however you say it... hehe... but uhm... yea and all that shit

Jerry: But so many people were touched by your story. You made Good Morning America just a week later and you had to be under police investigation. Do you mean to say that was all some kind of an act just to fool people?

Jessi: Look Jerry, all I wanted to do was come on youtube and have fun like all 11 year old girls like to do. I didn't ask for all the hate but you know what I love it! I love the hate! It doesn't matter whether you love me or hate me as long as your making me even more famous I'm perfectly fine with that! That whole "PLEASE JUST STOP HATING" thing was just for... uhm... lulz

Mr.Slaughter: *grabs the mic, angry at the crowd* LISTEN! TO ALL YOU NO GOOD PUNKS THAT ARE SHOUTING ALL THOSE SEXUAL THINGS TO MY DAUGHTER, IF YOU KEEP IT UP I WILL HAVE YOU ALL REPORTED TO THE CYBER POLICE AND THE STATE POLICE! I'M NOT GONNA SIT HERE AND LISTEN TO YOU TALK CRAP TO MY DAUGHTER! KEEP ON TALKING THAT WAY AND YOU'LL ALL BE ARRESTED! END OF CONVERSATION! FROM-HER-FATHER! *points to self with thumb*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jenCVAhz6J4
Casey Anthony enters the arena to a thunderous and wild reaction of boo's. Casey keeps a smile on her face as she walks down the ramp while people shout angry things and throw trash at her. A "Guilty" chant breaks out while the entrance theme is still playing and Casey makes her way to the ring. Casey showers in boo's, guilty chants, and trash as she stands in the ring.

Jerry: Casey Anthony? This is unexpected....

Mr.Slaughter: HOLD ON ONE DAMN SECOND! JERRY, I DON'T WANT THIS FREAK ANYWHERE NEAR MY DAUGHTER! SHE DONE KILLED BEFORE AND SHE GONNA KILL AGAIN! LISTEN HERE YOU LIEING NO GOOD PUNK, I KNOW YOU DUN DID IT BECAUSE I BACK TRACED IT AND I KNOW WHERE IT HAPPENED AND HOW YOU DID IT!

Casey: *trying to talk over the thunderous negative responses from the crowd, keeping a smile* Does every sentence you say have to be a threat? You might be right though. Maybe I did do it, maybe I did what the theme CCW gave me says. Maybe I am a murderer. But the fact is the courts couldn't prove I did it and when it comes down to it I can stand in this ring and say I did it but unless there's hardcore evidence to prove- *dodges a beer bottle being thrown from the crowd* to prove that I did it then it's just like they say baby, innocent until proven guilty! I'm not here to talk about me though- *wacked in the head with a plastic water bottle, doesn't react* I'm here to talk about you and your little brat of a daughter of there

Jessi: Oh no you didn't just say that! See that Jerry? Keep hating I love the hate!

Casey: Now see that right there? That's exactly what I wouldn't have wanted my Caylee to turn out like. *even thunderous boo's, talks to crowd* Oh come on, you know if your daughter was anything like this little brat you wouldn't wanna put up with it either! *to Mr.Slaughter* Let's face it honey, whether you want to admit it or not you know if given the chance you would do the same thing!

Mr.Slaughter: I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE MY DAUGHTER VERY MUCH! AND THAT'S MORE THAN YOUR LIEING PUNK ASS CAN SAY! LEMME TELL YOU SOMETHING I DON'T TRUST ANYBODY! ANYBODY!!!! ANYBODY!!!!! ESPECIALLY CHILD MURDERERS LIKE YOU! I'M NOT GONNA STAND FOR THIS

Casey Anthony: You are absolutely right! Child murder is a terrible thing and that is why I am making it my mission to make sure people who harm children are punished the fullest extent!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKqgJyeAEJk
Video plays on the tron showing Mr.Slaughter slapping Jessi and yelling at her

Casey: Ouch right? Don't need to know much about the law to know that that's child abuse right there! You know that's a serious crime right?

Mr.Slaughter: LIES! LIES!!!!!

Jerry: If I may intervene for a second. Jessica, how long has this been going on?

Jessi: Well it like happens everyday but like whatever! It doesn't even hurt! Honestly You probably hit harder than Jerry

Mr.Slaughter: *smacks Jessi across the face, crowd goes ooooo* YOU SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH! IF YOU SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT AGAIN.... CONSEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

Casey Anthony signals backstage and a group of police officers come down and arrest Mr.Slaughter who is fighting and arguing. Jessi is crying telling them to stop hating. The Jerry theme plays in the background.

Shaycarl is walking down the hall before his match and is met by Holly who is running to catch up to him

Shay: Oh that's right, you're my lucky charm tonight right?

Holly Madison: I'm not Irish silly!

Shay: *pause* Silly me! *fake laughs and walks away with Holly*

In the arena the camera pans to Kanye West who is sitting in the front row watching the action.

World Heavyweight championship Match #5 Shaycarl w/t Holly Madison vs Jon Lajoie

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbZolzqm63M
Shaycarl enters along with Holly cheering and posing along with him. A fan yells for Holly's autograph. Holly walks over to give the fan an autograph. Shay walks to the ring on his own not knowing Holly left him behind. Shay looks around wondering where Holly is. Holly is asking fans if they have a pen. Shay shrugs his shoulders asking what she's doing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqXi8WmQ_WM
Jon Lajoie comes out with his championship tied around his waist. He's in his MC vagina attire doing the "show me your genitals" dance on the way to the ring while the women in the crowd go wild. Lajoie meets Holly on the way to the ramp and pulls a pen from inside his pocket and puts hit in his mouth sticking it out at Holly who bites the other end to take it.

The match starts with Lajoie doing his genital dance and Shay trying to do it too. Holly is still signing autographs with the fans. Lajoie goes from his genital dance to a signiture lowblow but Shay counters by grabbing a hold of Lajoie's leg. Shay takes Lajoie's right shoe off and bites his foot. Lajoie screams saying how it hurts. Shay clothlines Lajoie to the ground. Shay bounces off the ropes as the ring shakes cause he's fat. Shay does a little dance before going for a hip drop on Lajoie. Lajoie rolls out the way and slides out the ring.

Lajoie takes a breather and tries to hit on some of the hot chicks in the front row. The hot red headed chick that's usually in the front row of TNA is there. Shay bounces off the ropes and hits a suicide dive on Lajoie on the outside. Shay gets to his feet and shows off his fat muscle to the hot red headed chick. The hot red headed chick gives a thumbs up. Shay lifts Lajoie and slides him back in the ring. Holly is walking back after finishing signing autographs.

Shay slides back in the ring waiting for Lajoie to get back up and signals to the crowd he's going for a big boot. Holly taps his foot trying to get his attention. Shay turns around and asks what she wants. Holly is pointing to an autograph she signed and saying something. Shay turns around and Lajoie hits him with a running hip attack. Shay hangs on to the ropes avoiding falling to the ground. Lajoie chokes him in between the middle rope. Holly is cheering Shay when her cellphone rings and she picks it up and starts talking. The ref counts to 4 and Lajoie releases the hold and goes back for it again. The ref tries to take Lajoie off. Lajoie argues with the the ref with the ref's back turned to Shaycarl. Holly pulls some kind of metal dildo out of her purse and wacks Shay in the face square in the skull with it knocking him out. Lajoie goes for the cover and wins the match.

Winner: Jon Lajoie

Holly walks up the ramp as Hugh Hefner's theme plays. Hugh and Kendra come out from the back and stand on the entrance stage.

Hefner: My dear fat friend, I am afraid you failed to impress me in this showing. I believe we had a deal and since you were not victorious tonight I have no choice but to terminate your contract with this organization

Kendra: In other words, just like your buddy Phil, hit the bricks fatty!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBvz7yIGiKQ
Hugh Hefner's theme plays as the trio laughs at Shaycarl. Shay crawls in the middle of the ring staring at them with anger as the show goes off the air.

**CCW** · 07-18-2011, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by Johnny Drama

a celebrity wrestling creative isn't anything new but I do admire the detail and effort you put into this one. Good job! But personally, I would have preferred, as the reader, if you would have kept it strictly true life celebrities and left of fictional characters like Freddy Krueger and Michael Myers. Also, I was kind of scratching my head on Osama being there. All and all a tremendous job, though I would recommend some slight tweaking.

Thanks for the feedback. We're kind of mixing it up between cartoonish and silly type things and some realistic stuff. We were working on this for a while before Osama was killed so that's why he's on there.

**DramaShark** · 07-18-2011, 09:54 PM

Well keep up the good work and I enjoyed the latest episode as well

**CCW** · 07-21-2011, 04:42 AM

A week has now gone by and Champions of the World and Execution have now signed just a few of the new talents.

New to the Execution Roster

New to the Champions Roster

.

**CCW** · 07-21-2011, 04:44 AM

******* We open in Danny Vegas' office ********

Vegas: What's aaaaaap? Welcome to my show Execution. For those who didn't catch last week, I'm
the Owner of Execution and I do things around here in the best interest of the show. And in order
to shake things up and keep them unpredictable, we're gonna have Jonathan Coachman as acting GM
tonight! *BOO* I've also given Megan Fox the night off and Borat can interview backstage.
Thank you that is all.

************************Intro plays and pyro**************************

******** Dane Cook theme *************
(looks like fans dig Cook as he gets a good pop)

Coach: Well, here comes a disrespectful son of a bitch! I can't begin to tell you how completely
appauling this guy's actions were last week and...

(Dane Cook gets closer and Coach stays quiet)

Borat: You did no finish Coach

Coach: I can't interrupt him....

******************* Dane Cook gets the mic and scowls at Coach.. making Coach shut up *******************

Dane Cook: What's up what's up people?!? *Big Pop* Don't you just hate it when people get jealous
of you? You know people get really angry at you and start questioning all your beliefs and what
not? Well, last week I found out that there was one of those debictuators on the roster. *POP*
Apparently, "he's starred in many movies and is very popular." I mean seriously, the monkeys
in the back couldn't come up with anything better? This convo has gone too far. This man cost me
my Intercontinental Championship and gave it to that redneck mexican George Lopez. And uh.. anyone
here now what a clusterf****** is? *pop*
Well there is one of those guys here. Guys that start getting ANGRY at you because your better.
You know them? *BOO* Oh come on, let's not hate them now, if we didn't have those people, what
would atheists do? (Laughs from crowd) Yeah, I'm serious. It's just like this one time when I
interrupted this guy who was jealous of all my accomplishments. Way back in the day which was a
Thursday by the way. *Pop* Anyway, I ended up beating the crap out of this guy and he thinks I'm
the right guy to deal with. Well I say if you want some of Cook, I'll burn you out here! *POP*

Coach: Well, it might as well...

Cook: Coach, if you say one more word I'll beat you as bad as I beat him last week. *POP*

****************** Coach grabs a mic with a smirk on his face *************************************************

Coach: People people the coach has an announcement to make. I was told that the Coach is in
charge tonight. And as the acting GM tonight. First, I'm adding a new partner to the announce table
so everyone hand it to.. LEWIS BLACK!!

************* Lewis Black comes out to a mixture of pops and heat *******************
(He just sits at the announce table. He's waiting to introduce himself until after Coach is done)

Coach: Hey Lew, me and Lew go way back. And another thing Dane, you complain about you
losing your Intercontinental Championship, well tonight you get your shot, against George Lopez
with Shia LaBeouf BANNED from ringside! *POP*

****** Dane Cook smiles *******

Cook: You know Coach, I've always liked you, that's why....

*Coach Interrupts*
Coach: I wasn't finished. If you don't win this match tonight, you will never recieve another
championship match EVER! And if you do win the Intercontinental Championship, you will defend it
at the next pay-per-view against non other than Shia LaBeouf! *BOOOOO*

Cook: You know what? You keep lying about all this stuff with lies. Lying is what got them in this
predicament in the first place and....

************************* Cook gets attacked by George Lopez from behind and gets hit with the belt in the
back of his head!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! **************************

Coach: (with evil smile) By the way Dane, that match, starts NOW!

************** Coach rips off his suit only to have a referee shirt on!!!! *************

George gets a cover and quick count, but only gets 2!!! Dane Cook kicked out!!! George picks him
back up going for a border toss but Cook counters into an edge o matic looking move! Cook gets
the cover but Coach is acting like there's something in his eye. So he doesn't make the count.
Dane gets up and gets in Coach's face. He starts yelling at him and George gets a school boy.
Quick count from Coach and still only a 2!! Dane Cook gets up and he and George stare down.
They both go to the ropes and go for a double clothesline and they connect and knock each other
out! Meanwhile, Coach motions somewhere. To the crowd. And he sees his shoe is untied so he ties
it. The place he was pointing at comes out to be someone from the crowd wearing a helmet and
coat!! He attacks Dane Cook with a sledgehammer with Coach taking a quick peek to see it! George
crawls to the cover and there is no way Cook is kicking out of that! The camera goes back to the
guy that came to the crowd. Shia LaBeouf is in that same section!! He and the guy in the suit
meet up. They hug!! It was a conspiracy all along!!

Black: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? THIS IS WORSE THAN MY LAST STAND UP SHOW IN LOUISVILLE! I WAS
GREAT BUT THOSE FANS WERE FUCKING RETARDED!! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS CLUSTERFUCK OF A BOMBSHELL!
WHO THE FUCK WAS THAT HELPING SHIA LABOEUF AND WHY IS SHE HELPING THAT RETARD?

************* Coach sees Dane and they high five with smirks on their faces, Shia LaBeouf gets
serious and beats on Dane! ********************

Coach: THAT IS WHAT YOU CALL SOME SERIOUS PAYBACK!! YOU WANNA PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME? THE COACH
DON'T TAKE NOTHING LIGHTLY AND I SHOWED THAT TONIGHT!

Black: Would calm the fuck down Coach? Your like that retard from The Greatest Freak Out Ever
videos.

Coach: Finally, Shia LaBeouf gets his revenge! See, that is what happens when you mess with the
Coach and Shia LaBeouf!

(Shia stops his assault after referees beg him off, he walks away with a scowl look on his
face while being booed. Not even REAL wrasslin fans like this guy)

Black: Well, I don't know why he was so obsessed in beating the fuck out of Dane Cook, he's
made more box office hits than Cook has.

Coach: I think it's past that now! It's gotten personal and I don't think this is something
that's going to end any time soon. We have our EX GM standing backstage to interview the winner
of tonight's Intercontinental Championship match, George Lopez.

Black: Take it away, fuckhead!

******************************************* George Lopez interview w/ Borat *******************************************

Borat: (camera up close on Borat) GOOD DAY! My name a Borat! *pop*
(camera zooms out with George standing there) And these George! *mixture of pops and heat*
(Borat grabs George's face and kisses all over it)

George: Orale (scowl on his face) I didn't know you were a (does whistle he does to gays)

Borat: Well, I need ask question. How you manage to win Dane Cook when he against evens?

George: Sabes que? I was like fire in the California wilderness tonight. I was like that
(punches ground pretending its Dane) Like my gramma when I used to ask her for some soda.
Sabes que I beat him so bad he's not even gonna remember what race he is. Then I walk up to
him and Imma be like You member! Member?

Borat: We got a announcement that someone wants talk with you on face time.

George: Lemme see him.

****************** On the titantron behind him, George sees fire and quickly runs away ************
George runs to one direction and sees a car on fire and looks freaked out so he runs the other
way. He runs to the other direction and sees kids roasting marshmellows. That scares him even more
because he never got to go camping as a kid. So then, George runs to the south exit of the arena
and hides in King Taco where he watches people get shanked the rest of the night to calm him down.

************************************ Eminem theme hits **************************
- Eminem comes out a good reaction. He gets plenty of pops.

************************************ Justin Bieber theme ************************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNbrelr3Mjg

- Bieber comes out to pops from little girls in the crowd and completely booed by men.

Eminem Rap: Haha, look at the clown right here. This guy sucks hard.
Imma be real here, if your cheering this guy, your a retard. *OOOO*
Ey, your living off Usher's name and that ain't cool dawg.
How much wood he give you? Must've been a log.. full
Fool, this guy facing me can't sing and can't act shouldn't even be famous
The only thing we should be scared of is if your disease is contagious *OOOOOOOO*
Yo, if managment wanna keep then that's cool, stay
But if I was in management, I'd fire you cuz you straight (holds mic in air while fans shout "GAY")

Bieber laughs and points at Eminem before the match signaling something like "you got me."
They lock up in the middle of that very ring. Eminem side steps Beiber and hits a quick monkey flip.
Bieber runs to quickly attack but Eminem ducks underneath and Bieber bounces off the ropes
running into an Eminem shoulder block. Eminem quickly runs back to the ropes and hits a running
summersault neckbraker. There's a cover but only 2 as Bieber needs to be worn down more than that.
Eminem picks up Bieber and hits a modified power side slam kinda like one of John Cena's 5 moves
of death. He gets the pin again and only gets a 2 count. Eminem looks a little frustrated now.
Referee Charles Robinson continues to repeat that it's only a 2 count as Eminem continues his
attack. Bieber is thrown to the ropes and kick's Eminem's chest when he bent over going for a
big back body drop. Bieber runs to the ropes and ducks an attempted clothesline, stops and hits
a picture perfect drop kick. Cover and only a 2 count. Now, Bieber irish whips Eminem into the
ropes and runs to him before getting kicked in the face by Eminem's counter. Eminem goes to the
top rope and a FAN JUMPS IN FROM THE CROWD! ITS RAPPER KANYE WEST!! He has a mic in his hand and
says: "Yo this match is cool and Imma let you finish but, I WOULD WRESTLE TEN TIMES BETTER THAN
THIS!" Then, Kanye runs out and goes back to his seat. Eminem looks at Kanye like "What the hell
are you doing?" Kanye shrugs his shoulders and Eminem is rolled up from behind and gets pinned
for 3!!! Kanye West's interference just cost Eminem that match!!

Coach: What the hell was that about? Kanye just jumped in and cost Eminem that match! Eminem
is now 0-2 against the roll up!! What's going on?

Black: THAT MOTHERFUCKER JUST RUINED A GOOD MATCH! WHAT KIND OF STUPID SHIT IS THIS?!? STUPID
SON OF A BITCH THAT INTERRUPTED THIS MATCH IS JUST LIKE THAT FAN THAT TRIED TO TELL ME I WASN'T
FUNNY BECAUSE I YELLED THE PUN OF MY JOKES! ITS LIKE, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS STUPID ASS!

Coach: That is exactly right! Eminem was dominating this match and that worthless piece of
garbage, Justin Bieber wins.

****************** Saulman and The Shame are backstage talking *******************

Saul: Yo, all the suckas here go crazy for stars coming. Just look at when LeBron James came to
the Miami Heat. They ain't seen no talent like this though.

Shame: Ya I'm bout to ECW that stage in our match tonight. We're gonna be like Mickey Rourke
only successful and younger.

Saul: Yeah, let's go out there and show all those jabroni's what we're made of.

Coach: Saulman and The Shame are in action, next!

******************************* Victoria Justice is backstage to a huge pop *******************
- She is dressed up in Lilly Truscott looking clothes and has a blonde wig.

Justice: Hey, guys OMG welcome to my locker room. Hold on a sec. *chokes down on fake pills that
are obviously small marshmellows from a big can that has a paper taped on that says Steroids*
Sorry, just takin my daily dose. Ya know, can't live without my roids! Grr! (Puts on fake
Incredible Hulk arms) So guys what can I help you with? Oh before you answer that, lemme show
you my locker room. *Posters of Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana are everywhere* Yeah, me and her
are best friends! You wanna hear? *Picks up phone and calls Miley and puts on speaker* Her agent
answers: "Hello, this is Miley Cyrus's phone, how can I help you?"
Victoria: Hi this is Emily Osment, can I speak to my best friend?
Agent: How many times have I told you? STOP calling! Miley is very busy and doesn't wanna speak
to you!!
Victoria: Ok, can I leave her a message?
Agent: You ask that every time! NO!!!!
Victoria: Yay! Ok just tell her I love her and miss her and want to meet with her.
Agent: If you don't hang up in 5 seconds I'm calling the police.
Victoria: You can't put a time limit on friendship, but if they wanna know where I am, tell them
to go to Miami *pop* at the Execution studios!
Agent: I got that, expect to be arrested in the next 30 minutes.
Victoria: YAY! Maybe I'll finally see Miley!! Well, bye!
Agent: Don't call us again.

*Victoria rips off the wig and gets serious*
Victoria: And that's the phony little jezebel that you are. And tonight, after I re-gain MY Divas
Championship, you're going to jail! *laughs evily to close the segment*

_________________________ _ Saulman and The Shame vs Ronaldinho and Tiger Woods ________________

******* Saulman and Shame theme hits, they come out to a strong reaction of pops ************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRNWtR6tj4w

Coach: Well, here come 2 disrespectful punks right now. And I gotta tell ya Lew, I hope they get
their asses handed to them tonight.

Black: To be honest, these motherfuckers have always impressed me. I enjoy them as Tag Team
Champions.

Coach: These guys are awful

******* Tiger Woods and Ronaldinho come out to Ronaldinho's music to no reaction at all __________

Black: What the fuck are these two cock ponies doing together? They've never met once before so
why the hell are they together tonight?

Coach: I guess they heard the open challenge Saulman and Shame gave out on Twitter earlier and
thought to get on the same page to possibly defeat the Tag Team Champions.

Black: I'd say that's gotta be the most fuckin retarded thing I've ever heard.

Saulman starts out the match against Tiger Woods. Fans are way behind Saulman because these guys
hate jobbers. Saulman and Tiger lock up and quickly Tiger goes for a clothesline but Saul quickly
slides underneath his leg. Tiger turns around to a kick in the leg. He falls to 1 knee and Saul
hits a DDT. Cover and they only get a 1 count. Saul sends Tiger into the ropes and hits a tilt
a world backbreaker. Another cover and another two count. This is good fast paced action to kick
things off. Saul goes for another irish whip but Tiger counters it with an irish whip of his own
and gets a big back body drop on the rebound. Tiger tags in Ronaldinho, who has plenty of history
with these two. Ronaldinho picks up Saul, going for a scoop slam. Saul counters into a small
package and again only gets the 2 count. Saul quickly tags in the more powerful Shame. Shame
walks in and clotheslines Ronaldinho twice. He picks up Dinho and hits a gorilla press slam.
He gets the cover and only gets 2. Shame looks like he's ready to hit the spear, but then,
A growling bengal comes on the screen again and Terrell Owens and Chad Ochocinco highlights come
on. They get booed from the Miami Dolphin fans in the crowd. They come out and play catch with
a football!! T.O runs into the ring to try and catch the ball Ochocinco threw but meets a spear
from The Shame!!!!! Shame turns around and ducks a clothesline from Ronaldinho and hits a spear
on him!!! Cover and that's the 3 count!!!! TO and Ochocinco's plan was foiled!!!!!!!!

Coach: Dammit I thought for sure these guys could get the job done with that entrance tonight.

Black: Well those motherfuckers ruined another match. What the hell is there deal anyway? Can
we not get one clean finish tonight?

Coach: Not when The Coach is in charge you won't. I can guarantee you that this isn't over yet.
These guys will be back.

************* Borat catches up with Ochocinco backstage **************

Borat: Ey, you golfball player. I wanna....

Ochocinco: Alright, first of all, I'm a football playa. And second, I ain't in the mood for an
interview tonight. I'm just tellin ya'll Saulman and Shame this ain't over. And if ya'll think
it is, Child Please. And for those who have been dead the past few years and don't know what
Child Please mean, it's a nice way of saying fuck you. So, child please.

_____________ The ring is set up for Lewis Black's Root of All Evil ___________________

Lewis Black: ORDeR IN THE COURT! TONIGHT BEGINS THE RE-INSTALLMENT OF THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL! *POP*
DESPITE THAT NOT MAKING ANY SENSE, TONIGHT'S TOPICS WILL BE THE BIGGEST WE'VE EVER HAD. WOMEN VS
CARS! Now, on the women's side please welcome, Kim Kardshian you bastards!!!!

****** Kim Kardashian comes to the ring and comes out to a solid reaction including whistles
from all the men **************

Black: Holy good God in my anus, you look stunning tonight!! Say, I told you what hotel room I'm
in later right? *shakes his head* Ah, and on the Cars side, making a one night only appearance,
Vin Diesel motherfuckers!!!!!

****** Diesel comes out to a huge pop and the ladies cheer extra loud for him ******
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO0voTEg0GU

Black: Hey, Vin I did your whole workout DVD's, I think I'm startin to get buffer than you.
*flexes muscles and Vin laughs and flexes his huge arm* That's gonna cost you some points.
(crowd laughs) So basically, these two are going to argue about which thing is more evil and
defend their own case. Each will get one arguement. And I'll pick the winner in the end!! Kim,
since your so smokin hot, you can go first.

Kim: Thanks Lew, *sexy smile on her face* (men are cheering loud) Hey Miami! I know you all like
cars after they made 2 Fast 2 Furious here. Which by the way, he was not in. *OOO* But I can tell
you that cars are more evil than women. Women aren't evil at all. They satisfy men and give them
*sexy voice* erotic pleasure *POP from men*. Last time I checked, cars couldn't do that. Cars
don't give you hugs and kisses and cars sure as hell don't cook for you so that is why cars are
evil and women are not. *POP*

Vin: You serious? That's the best arguement you got? Sex? Haha well I can tell you there's no
adrenaline rush like speed racing. Speed racing is the fastest best and most thrilling experience
you can have. Nothing compares to it, not even sex. The thing about cars is, they don't whine
bitch and moan when you do one little thing. They don't even argue with you. They listen to
everything you do and you're in full control. Women moan and bitch about the littlest things
so while sex may be great, the yelling and fighting that comes afterward doesn't make it worth it.
*POP*

Black: Well, MOTHERFUCKERS!! WHAT DO YOU THINK? (They give a bigger reaction to Vin Diesel)
KIM KARDASHIAN IT IS!!! *BOO* Sorry, Vinny. That's the way the cookie crumbles.

Vin looks disappointed and attacks Lewis Black from behind!!!!! Kim tries to get him off and
when he does she attempts to slap him! He blocks her hand and makes out with her!! THe fans
are cheering the hell out of Vin Diesel chanting "Sign this guy!!" He walks away to a standing
ovation and Kim crying in the middle of that very ring! Black returns to the announce table

Black: WELL WHO IN THE FUCK DOES THAT FUCKHEAD THINK HE IS?!?!? THAT STUPID PIECE OF SHIT
WILL NEVER GET A CONTRACT HERE!!! AND IF HE DOES ILL BEAT THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF HIM IN HIS
FIRST NIGHT!!! I HOPE HE DOES COME BACK!! AND HE CAN DO SOMETHING THEN! STUPID SON OF A BITCH!!

Coach: That was utterly classless and I cannot believe these fans have the audacity to cheer
this man! Anyway tonight we have a....

************************************************* Cuts to backstage where Emily Osment is getting arrested!! **************

******** Victoria Justice NEW theme debuts and she comes out to a big pop ************

Victoria: Aw, look at that, poor little Emily is on the way to the big house. *YEAAA* I can't
say I blame them after the way you obssesively called Miley Cyrus this morning. You'll never
be nothing but her lackey. She doesn't even like you and you keep trying to be her bitch! When
will you get it? That she doesn't like you and no one here does either. So you should just leave
give me back my Divas Championship and go into hiding. *YEAHH* (Justice chants break out)
Oh yeah, and I don't know if I told anyone, but, I get some extra "insurance" and she'll be
meeting him later. See you guys later for my Divas Championship match *YEEAAAAAHHHHH*

__________ Lady GaGa promo airs where she's doing all sorts of magic tricks repeating
her catch phrase, "It doesn't matter if you love him or capital H I M" __________

Coach: Well, what do you think of that Lew, Lady GaGa is coming soon.

Black: Yeah, she's fine. I'll tit fuck her anyday!

************** Scott van Pelt theme hits **************
- Comes out to a decent reaction

van Pelt: I can't believe it. You know when you have someone who's much younger than you try
to act tough for his friends then not be able to back up his words. This young fool thinks he has
the upper hand on me just because he's gotten a few cheap shots on me. Well, I ask you Jake T
Austin, come out here and try it again *pop* (Scott stands there waiting for Jake's music but
nothing happens) Ok, now I'm through asking, I DEMAND you come out here and face me like a man!
*pop* (Nothing again) Just like I thought, you don't have a pair. You don't deserve to hold this
and come Best of Both Worlds I'll make sure you won't!

Austin: (He is standing outside in the nighttime)
Oh wow Scott! I'm sure all the people there are convinced. *BOOO* See, after I beat you
down last week, I knew you would come looking for me. That's why I'm not there. I'm always
just one step ahead of you. See, you thought that I would be vulnerable and stupid enough to
show up there and have you blindside and attack me from behind. That's not how I roll. And you
have kids don't you? They're not allowed to watch the show are they?

Scott: No, they aren't.

Austin: Heh see that's funny, because they missed that amazing speech you gave. So what do you
say I repeat it for them. As a bedtime story! (The camera zooms out and we see Jake is in front
of Scott's house!) Good thing your wife doesn't watch it either or she might not let me in. (He's
walking up to the house and his wife opens the door)

Scott: I swear to God if you do anything...

Scott's wife: JAKE T AUSTIN?!? Oh my word! What are you doing in these parts late at night?

Ausin: Well, your husband sent me. He, uh, asked me to come and tell your kids a little bedtime
story. Is that okay?

Wife: Yeah, that would be great!

Scott: You son of a bitch!! (runs to the back)

Austin: Hi Kids!!

Kids: JAKE!! (They get up and hug him)

Kid 1: What are you doing here? You should be on TV!

Austin: Your daddy sent me here to send you a very special bedtime story.

Kid 2: What's it about?

Austin: Well it's about a dumb man who continues to think the guy going after him can't defeat
him.

Kids: YAY!

Austin: Once upon a time, there was a bald ugly old fart who won the most coveted prize in
all of Wrestling.

Kids: Uuuuuuu

Austin: I know! Then, he cheated to win in his first title defense. And that really made the
handsome number one contender upset. So, the number one contender came up and demanded another
match. But the champion was scared to face the contender and didn't give him his second shot.
So do you know what the contender did?

Kids: WHAT? WHAT?

Austin: He took advantage of you da.. I mean the champion's stupidity and beat him into a bloody
mess the last couple of weeks. He also completely took him out with his friend named Joe.
Until finally, the contender went into the champion's home and took all his kid's minds away
from missing their father. See, the champion is your father and the contender
is me. And your dad will never beat me. Never! See this? (Grabs a teddy bear) *angrily ripping
the teddy bear's head* THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS TO UNGRATEFUL CHAMPIONS!! And that's what happening
to your father next Sunday. Sweet dreams kids.

****** We go back to ringside with Coach and Lewis Black at ringside ********

Coach: Well, that was pretty damn disturbing. Well, the World Heavyweight Champion won't be getting
off that easy. Excuse me Lew. *grabs mic* Coach has a gameplan *BOOOO* Scott, I hope you didn't
go far because I know your just brewing for a fight. That's why I got my man, Shia LaBeouf
backstage ready to show you who's boss. And since you didn't confirm it, I will. In 2 weeks, at
Best of Both Worlds, it will Jake T Austin vs Scott van Pelt for the World Heavyweight Championship!
*YEAHHH* Now get a ref and Shia out here.

************************ Shia LaBeouf theme, comes out to big heat **************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWlnwGU3lnY

Black: I don't know why the hell you made this match but damn good work. I've been meaning to see
Shia get his ass beat.

Coach: What are you talking about? My boy, Shia's got this in the bag.

Black: Haha, you really think this stupid fuck can beat a pissed off father who just had his home
invaded? This fuckhead only attacks people from behind! This will be over in less than 5 minutes!

Coach: Care to bet on that? I'll tell you this, if Shia doesn't win this match, I'll put myself
in a match against Dane Cook next week. And if I win, you have to face Vin Diesel next week.

Black: HAHAHA, your ass is on and no bitching out!

************* Scott van Pelt theme, he gets a good pop this time and walks slowly to the ring with
a pissed off look on his face *******************

Black: Look at this guy, he's gonna beat the ever living out of this punk. Good luck in your
match against Dane Cook next week! HAHAHAHA

Coach: Don't be so arrogant, old man. I'm sure Shia has a little something up his sleeve.

Scott gets in the ring and starts pounding on Shia LaBeouf relentlessly. The ref starts counting
and forces Scott off of Shia. Scott goes back to punching the hell out of Shia LaBeouf. Referee
Nunzio gives him his final warning and tells him he WILL disqualify him. When Scott gets back to
the corner, Shia hits a quick thumb to the eye. Shia starts punching Scott himself. He picks up
Scott for a modified face first suplex. He gets a cover and Scott powers out at 1! He throws
Shia nearly half way across the ring!! Scott gets up and hits a HUGE clothesline. He gets a
cover and SO CLOSE but only 2. Scott picks Shia back up, measuring for a big boot but gets
Nunzio instead! Shia, sees the ref is down and hits a low blow!! He calls for Coach on the
announce table to get a chair! Coach hands him a chair and Shia motions up before Dane Cook's
theme PLAYS!!!! Shia looks at the stage and says bring it on while hitting the mat with the chair.
No one comes out and Scott is up and hits a spinebuster!!! He gets rid of the chair and waits
for Shia to get back up!!! Nunzio is getting back up and Shia walks in to the Future Shock DDT!!!
He gets the cover and the victory tonight!!

Coach: (with mic) NO!! What the hell is this?? Who was messing with the musical stuff?!!?!?!?

*The Camera cuts to the musical area where we see Borat smiling and waving at the camera!*

Coach: (with mic) No, no, no, no, no!! I refuse to do it alone! What are you laughing at Lew?
I never said I'd go at it alone! So next week, in that very ring, it'll be Dane Cook teaming
with his partner BORAT! To take on the team of Jonathan Coachman and Shia LaBeouf! *POP*

Black: (back on commentary) You know Dane's gonna kill ya right?

Coach: Yeah yeah I know.

******** We cut backstage where we see Danny Vegas on the phone ******************

Vegas: Hello

Caller: What's your favorite scary movie?

Vegas: Who is this?

Caller: I asked you first.

Vegas: This is Daniel Jack Vegas Vice President of Wrasslin Operations at Execution.

Caller: So your the guy I need to call in order to get a contract there?

Vegas: Yeah and I gotta tell ya I'm not a big fan of anonymous calls.

Caller: Well, your wife thought the same thing. I wonder if she'll think the same thing
if I gut her up like a pig.

Vegas: You don't know where I live

Caller: Your address isn't the important thing but what is is will Haley survive? Answer
one question correct and we'll see if she survives. I must say, she's very pretty. It'd
be a shame if you saw her beauty behind her blood and guts next time you saw her.

Vegas: If you touch Haley I swear to God

Caller: Ah, ah swearing is against my beliefs. I believe anything worth swearing is serious.
I'm not trying to be your enemy here. Just trying to be friends. Answer my question correct,
she lives, answer it wrong and she's dead.

Vegas: Alright what do you want?

Caller: Name one reason why I haven't been signed by anyone on CCW?

Vegas: I... ah

Caller: Answer the fucking question!

Vegas: I don't know! I was stressed in signing my current superstars! I didn't think I'd need
to sign anyone! But I don't even know who you are!!!

Caller: Hmm, I like that answer. But I don't know if I like it enough to spare Haley's life.
So I'll tell you what. You give me the most lucritive contract in the history of CCW and I'll
leave your family completely alone.

Vegas: Alright you got it!! Just leave my family alone!! Who are you?

Caller:...... some call me Ghostface, but I usually go by SCREAM. *dial tone*

************************************************* * Victoria Justice them, bigger pop than before for her now ******************
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4cOm69087A

Coach: What the hell was that about? I hope that Scream wasn't serious! And now he's bringing
those type of tactics here?

Black: Yeah I know, that fuckhead better not try anything on me or I'll fuck him up!

Coach: Well, moving on, it is main event time for the Divas Championship. The question is will
Emily Osment show up after getting arrested?

Black: I hope so that bitch will get the shit raped out of her in jail. Dropping the soap
means she has to look at all that bush that doesn't include Casey Anthony's.

Coach: Yeah, they throw Emily in jail for something she didn't do here in Florida, yet, they
find Casey Anthony innocent?

___ Justice with mic _____

Justics: I'm waiting for my opponent, so let's check on her status. *video shows her in cell with
her cell mate* (Victoria laughs evily) Oh, that jail mate is a woman, or is she? See, I told you
all I had a surprise waiting for her in the jail. And well, her cell mate isn't a "woman"
-(as soon as she says that, her jail mate pulls off her wig and jail suit and ITS JONAH HILL!!)-
THAT is my back up that I hired to make sure I win my Divas Championship! -(Jonah Hill attacks
Emily Osment and drowns her in the toilet for a good while until she passes out)- That is the man
who will be working for me from now on! *pop* And I also took the courtesy of sending someone to
bail them both out so they both make it tonight. -(Michael Cera is there and bails them both out
he says he can't look and simply walks back to the car while Jonah Hill carries Emily back)-
And for anyone that thought the Championship match wasn't happening tonight, take that idea
and shove it! *pop* They'll be here in 5 minutes, so I think we should do something special
with our time. So, bring someone out so I can warm up.

Coach: What the hell is she talking about?

Black: What in fuck's name? She really thinks she can beat someone in 5 minutes?

****** Justin Bieber's theme *******
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNbrelr3Mjg

Coach: As if this guy wasn't a complete moron already, he comes out here to get annihalated by
Victoria Justice. Why would he even come out here?

Black: Well, he already won once tonight. Maybe the little fucker can pull it off again.

_____________ Justin Bieber vs Victoria Justice ________________

Justin Bieber walks in to massive boos. People are even chating You are gay at him. Victoria
kicks him in the midsection and hits Justification while her hometown crowd is marking out for
her. There's the cover for 3

Coach: And then again, maybe not. Victoria Justice makes quick work of this jobber named Justin
Bieber. Why is this guy still on the roster anyway?

Black: Well that was damn good waste of time.

************* Jonah Hill theme song plays and he carries Emily to the ring ********

* Jonah Hill picks up Bieber and throws him halfway through the arena and people catch him and
throw him around as if he were crowd surfing. *

- Victoria tells the referee to ring the bell. The ref holds up the prize BEFORE THE LIGHTS GO
OUT!!! MICHAEL MYERS THEME PLAYS!!! THE FANS ARE GOING CRAZY AND THE LIGHT STAY DIMMED WHILE
MICHAEL SLOWLY WALKS TO THE RING!! Michael Cera hightails it out and so does Victoria!!! Jonah
Hill waits for Myers in the ring!! When Michael enters, Jonah starts punching and kicking away
at him. It has no affect on Myers as he continues to walk toward Jonah! Michael chokes him and
picks him up for the chokeslam!!!!! Michael stands tall continuing to look at Jonah Hill as
we close the show!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**CCW** · 07-27-2011, 04:03 PM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBvz7yIGiKQ
There's no intro or pyro or commentary team, the show immediately kicks off with Hugh Hefner coming out accompanied by Kendra Wilkinson and Holly Madison. The entire entrance ramp is covered by red carpet and the stage is filled with a classy Playboy style set On the way to the ring Holly notices a sign for her and goes to hug the fan but Kendra pulls her aside and walks her to the ring. Holly opens the ropes for Hef to enter the way a referee does for Ric Flair. Instead of a CCW logo on the turnbuckles, there's a Playboy logo. As Hef and the girls stand in the center of the ring looking around the crowd, Kanye West is seeing texting in the front row.

Hef: I am very pleased that all you kind people chose to join us here for this show. I assure you the money you invested into this event will be well worth what we have in store. I received a lot of negative reactions for my actions during last weeks broadcast which involved Sxephil and Shaycarl. The fact of the matter is they both had an opportunity and they both could not succeed. I will not treat anyone unfairly without first providing them an opportunity. I have an opportunity I would like to extend to this young man in the front row.

Hef points to Kanye West sitting in the front row. Kanye looks at the fans around him wondering if Hef was talking about him.

Hef: Yes, you. I seen the shenanigans you pulled on the other show a few days ago. I certainly will not have any of that on this show. I understand you are trying to make an impression but I'm afraid I just can't let you do that without a contract to this brand.

Kanye West signals he wants a microphone. Hugh motions for Holly. Holly grabs Kanye a mic and politely hands it to Kanye who snaps it out of her hands.

Kanye: Look here, I don't care what y'all say. I'm her for me and nobody else! Okay? It's a damn disgrace that them prostitutes is allowed to be up ther whoring up the ring while I ain't even got a free agency contract yet! I'm the hottest damn celebrity to not be signed and honestly it pisses me off! If you ain't want no trouble for anybody tonight, give me a contract with a fat paycheck and call it a deal!

Kendra: Who in the hell do you think you're calling prostitute?

Hef: Don't let him get to you, Kendra. It's obvious you are unwilling to comply with my expectations. I'm going to say this once, you can either walk out of this arena on your own will; or you can take the same road as Sxephil

Kanye: Y'all hear that? Hugh Hefner does not care about black people! That's right I said it! I know you, Hugh! How many black chicks ever graced the cover of Playboy in the last 50 years? How come you ain't never had a black girlfriend? How come err time I come out her lookin so damn fresh you gotta keep hatin? You know what that's fine! Keep hatin! I love da hate!

Kendra: Will you lazy fat security guards please get this loser out of my arena right the hell now!

Kanye: QUIT HATIN!

Kanye's mic cuts off on Hefner's command and security tries to escort him out. Kanye runs his mouth as he walks away with them and the crowd is chanting "Na, na, na, na, hey, hey, hey, goodbye"

Hef: Back to business. Under my leadership I promise to provide nothing but the best which is why I have gone out of my way to make a few changes to the way things work around here. The first change is rather than inviting fictional characters to provide our viewers at home with commentary, I have hand selected this team myself. Kendra if you would be so kind as to introduce our friends.

Kendra: Alright guys, this first person actually has experience with the wrestling world and like myself is a former playmate. And the other guy is some trash bum from youtube who has been a "loyal customer" to the playboy franchise. Both of them have yet to be signed to a contract to Champions or Execution. Ladies and gentleman, put your hands together for CARMEN ELECTRAAAA! And symphony claps for Wrestlingjesus2011.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_o_iHIEaw10
The two come out to a generic Playboy mansion theme. Carmen Electra comes out posing for the crowd with Wrestling Jesus following closely behind staring creepishly and drooling over her. While Carmen has her back turned, Wrestling Jesus is making thrusting motions toward her. Carmen walks down and high fives the fans with one fan trying to reach and pop a feel on her. Wrestling Jesus keeps pretending he's going to high five the fans and moves his hand last second claiming they were too slow. He sees someone with a John Cena hat and T-Shirt and takes the kids hat and mocks the camera about how Cena is his hero then doing retarded motions then walks away keeping the hat. Carmen and Jesus walk directly to the commentator table and settle in while the theme is still playing in the background.

Carmen: Woo! What is up people watching at home! I'm excited to be here with all of you!

Wrestling Jesus: Alrighty! Believe it or not this is a dream come true to be right here right now so I can tell millions of people around the world that THEY CAN ALL GO TO HELL! Alright mother fuckers? You're all a bunch of fucking losers for watching this shit! Turn your fucking TV's off and get laid for christs sake!

Hef: As you can see I have made a few changes to the set. There are plenty more changes coming ahead. I have went out of my way to invite a few friends from the mansion to come here tonight and you will see some of them take the position of referees, ring announcer, and more! You will see more these changes as they come to you but for right now I would like our world champion to come on out here and join us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PsnxDQvQpw
Jon Lajoie enters in street clothes carrying his world championship over his left shoulder. Wrestling Jesus is making fun of how silly the world title looks on him and how we've gone from strong and sexy men being champion to a scrawny white guy on youtube adding that that's why this show "FUCKING SUCKS!"

Lajoie: This had better be important. I was just in the middle of a debate with a jealous hamburger and I really don't think he or his 99mm would be very happy if I don't get back in time

Hef: This won't take long I assure you. This discussion is strictly on the upcoming pay-per-view titled "Best of Both Worlds" which will feature celebrities from both this and the other show. Both world championships will be on the line that night and because you managed to defeat their world champion at the draft, we will be the headlining match for that night! I feel pressure to make sure this is worthy of being a main event show closing match. I certainly want to provide our audience with nothing but the best and that is why I looked over our roster and thought of all the possibilities for a show stealing match. Who could go out there and sell tickets? Who is someone people would pay to see? Who is best suited for your style? Who can get us the most buzz? After thinking long about this decision, I have made up my mind. I wanted to introduce you face to face the person you will be headlining the Best of Both Worlds pay-per-view with.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jenCVAhz6J4
Casey Anthony comes out accompanied by a group of officers with riot shields to protect her from trash being thrown by the audience. People are yelling death threats at Casey as she keeps a smile walking down the red carpet of a ramp. A few people try to throw trash but are blocked by the guards. The crowd is once again in a uproar near riot, all of them wanting to rip Casey's head off her shoulders.

Lajoie: Hold the shovel! Of all the monkeys running around in the back that have actually worked long and hard.... don't get me wrong I'm sure you worked just as long and hard the last few years I mean it's pretty obvious considering that your still breathing and all but I mean of all the people in that roster that haven't killed babies... I know it's hard narrowing it down to just 1 person but-

Casey: *keeping a smile* Aww you're so funny aren't you? Make all the jokes you want, sweetie. The fact of the matter is I'm still right here, my heart is still beating, and the blood is still flowing through my veins. You and all these people can say whatever you want to me but I know exactly who and what I am, you know what that is?

Lajoie: I know exactly what that is but I don't know if your other personality knows what everyone else knows

Casey: *fake laugh* What I am is NOT guilty! You can judge me all you want but I'm doing my part to help society. Last week I made sure a man abusing his child met consequences that will never be the same again. I'm donating to orphanages and trying to help spread a message. What are you doing? Making random, not funny videos on youtube? Disrespecting the female gender? Promoting hate and violence? Poisoning the minds of millions of young internet users? Who's the bad guy here? It ain't me that's for sure!

Lajoie: *staring with a blank look*Oh I'm sorry did you say something? I just couldn't help notice but you have a nice rack for a crazy psycho bitch. *Casey smirks and mouths out "That's real cute"* See, your talking to me about stuff, why? I'd rather see your titties. I mean I'm not gonna lie I'd probably do you upside down on my grandfathers back... with a condom of course... maybe two or three just to make sure cause we sure don't wanna make that mistake again!

Casey: Are you finished? Or do you want to stay here all night cracking jokes? Trust me, I can take em all. Go ahead and crack all the jokes you want but believe me when I say you have no idea what I'm capable of. When it comes down to it, I know I have it in me to take you down. I'm gonna beat you the Best of Both Worlds, take your championship, shine it up real nice, and hang it up in my daughters bedroom so she can be proud to know her mother is doing all this in her memory.

The crowd is even more disgusted and throws garbage at Casey which gets blocked by the guards on her side. Casey's music hits and she makes her exit along with the guards. Lajoie gets ready to exit the ring as well.

Hef: Hold your horses there young man. This isn't entirely over just yet. As I've stated, I want to give these fans the best product possible. That is why I have arranged a match consisting of nothing but champions! You being the world heavyweight champion will take on the current holders of the world tag team championships, Rhett and Link later on tonight!

We go to Carmen Electra and Wrestlingjesus2011 on commentary

Carmen: Unbelievable... anyway thank you all for joining us tonight already a ton of changed have just been made and we're just getting started

Wrestling Jesus: If you ask me I was trying hard not to fall asleep during that promo. The only thing I can agree with that youtube guy about is Casey An-tony has an epic rack. I just wanna put my face between those things and just *clasps his hands together and rubs his face on his hands making weird noises*

Carmen: She does have a nice rack doesn't she? Anyway, we got a lot to look forward to this episode! Dwayne "don't call me the rock" Johnson will make a live appearance later on tonight. Miley Cyrus made a challenge to Selena and Demi last week for a tag team match so we'll have to see if she can find a partner that can stand being around her enough to be on her team.

Wrestling Jesus: I know I can't stand dat annoying bitch and I hope she doesn't find a partner that way I can see her get the ass kicking she deserves. Huh.

Carmen: Paris Hilton says she has a gift ready for Britney we'll have to wait and see what that is and it's also a very special day today, Selena Gomez is celebrating he 19th birthday so congratulations to her

Wrestling Jesus: Nobody cares! It just means she's one year closer to dieing it's nothing special

Demi walks a blindfolded Selena Gomez to the woman's locker room. Demi opens the door to reveal a crowd of people (mostly extras and non-contracted celebrities)pop out and scream "Happy Birthday!" The room is set up for the birthday celebration with balloons, streamers, party tables, and music playing in the back. Selena cheers annoyingly and hugs Demi thanking her for setting this up.

Demi: Believe me it was no problem at all. Everyone was actually coming up to me wanting to help set this up! Oh and, I made sure to higher special security to keep Miley out so you don't have to worry about any of that!

Selena: Aww but she has the one birthday present I actually want. The present of her head on a silver plater

Demi: We're gonna get that tonight anyway once this is all over it'll be the two of us against her and whatever imaginary friend she can find!

Caseyface pushes her way past Selena and Demi to get to her locker

Selena: Uhm... excuse you

Caseyface: Uhm... excuse you! I don't care if it's your birthday this is this is still a locker room and you're in the way of my locker

Demi: Are you even a member of the roster? I don't think I've ever seen you around before

Caseyface: *irritated* The next person that comes up to me and says *mocking tone* Durr who are you? I never seen you before! Are you lost? How'd you get back here? Where are your clothes? *irritated tone*I'm gonna snap their neck in half because I-

Penelope Taynt: *stepping into the scene passing by Casey* Pardon me ma'am who I've never seen in my life. Have any of you seen Amanda? I must meet Amanda, please

Selena: *laughing* I don't know where Amanda is but I sure hope she has a nice present waiting for me whenever she gets here *winks*

Caseyface: Please! You wanna talk about people nobody knows? Who the hell are you supposed to be

Penelope: My name is Penelope Taynt. I'm Amanda's #1 fan, please. I do have my own Amanda website you know

Caseyface: Oh really? Another internet poser? That's shocking! Let me ask you a question, has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Penelope: No time for silly games! I must meet Amanda, please!

Penelope pushes past Casey spilling her drink on her. Casey gets mad and chases after her. Selena and Demi are laughing as Amanda steps into the scene from the other side with a gift in hand.

Selena: Oh there you are! And you have a present!

Amanda: It's actually not my present at all. Mine is over there with all the other ones. Someone said you'd really like this though.

Selena: *taking the gift and unwrapping it* Well what is it? It's heavy...

Amanda: I don't know I didn't see what it was either I just... oh hey is that Miley Cyrus's ex-boyfriend over there?

Demi: Yea I think so... you should go try to hook up with him I bet he's more your style!

Amanda: Hey I should shouldn't I!

Amanda walks away to talk to Miley's ex-boyfriend. Penelope runs by from the opposite direction completely missing her chance to meet Amanda again which Caseyface chases her. Selena unwraps the gift revealing it to be a Chucky doll in a plastic box. Selena screams and drops it.

Selena: What the hell!!! Isn't that the same creepy doll from last week?

Demi: Eww it is... you wanna throw it in the garbage or something?

Selena: That's be mean... throw is in the corner and maybe someone will pick it up and like it

Demi throws the Chucky doll in a corner. The music is loud, the room looks more like a rave, people are dancing all over. Chucky blinks inside the box and smiles sinisterly.

Match #1 Chris Crocker vs Osama Bin Laden

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v03gjL9CJRI
Chris Crocker makes his entrance posing all gayishly strutting to the ring

Wrestling Jesus: You've got to be fucking joking me! Just when I thought this couldn't get any more fucking gay, we get this mother fucker huh

Carmen: I think it's kind of hot! He's not ashamed of who he is and he shows off with pride! You gotta love that in people!

Wrestling Jesus: The problem is I look at dis guy and there's nothing to love about him. HE'S A FUCKIN FREAK! Alright people? He's like Orlando Jordan or Zack Ryder huh? He, she, it whatever the hell it wants to call itself!

Carmen: And that's what I love about him! He knows he's a freak and he's not afraid to admit that as you can tell by his theme

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gK1Dro5pr_0
Osama Bin Laden enters being followed by a group of terrorists holding the United States championship up high

Wrestling Jesus: This I don't understand at all. Haven't we spent the last 10 years looking for dis guy and now he's right there in front of dousands of people and no one's trying to shoot him down with a rifle huh

Carmen: Some questions are better left unanswered

Osama enters the ring and stares at Chris Crocker from across the ring. The terrorists surround the ring like lumberjacks. The bell rings and Chris Crocker immediately goes on the attack with a bunch of girly slaps to the head pushing him to the corner. The playboy referee tries to count to 5 to tell Crocker to break it up but forgets what number comes after 2. Osama shoves Crocker off and positions himself on the middle rope and hits a diving spear on Crocker which he calls the diving 911 attack. Osama lifts Crocker back up and positions him for a suplex style move. Before lifting him he screeches some terrorist call then spits fire out somehow. Osama lifts Crocker up in a suplex and holds him still for a while. The stupid playboy referee thinks this is an illegal move and tries to count to 5 again for Osama to break the move. Osama drops Crocker stiffly on his head with a brainbuster style drop which he calls The Falling North Tower. The terrorists throw black smoke bombs in the ring as a symbol. Osama makes the pin and the playboy referee makes a slow 3 count which she almost goes over but gets scared when the bell rings.

Winner: Osama Bin Laden

After the match the terrorist all enter the ring and circle over Crocker. Osama makes a motion and all the terrorists pull out AK-47's shooting down Crocker as the smoke rises covering his hideous being. A loud beeping horn is heard as a black sports card dives through the entrance stage and crashes into the ring. Obama and George Bush are revealed to be the people in the car along with members of the secret service. George Bush has with him a box of fried chicken which he throws at the terrorists which scares them all because everyone knows terrorists are afraid of chicken. The ring is cleared as Obama and Bush run dramatically pointing at the terrorists. As Osama runs away with the rest of the terroists he holds the US title up high.

Miley Cyrus is seen walking to the woman's locker room where Steve Wilko's stands outside guarding.

Miley: Excuse me, Steve. I have a match to get ready for

Steve: And I have a job to do. My job is to make sure you stay as far away from this locker room as possible

Miley: OK real funny but I don't have time to laugh I have to find a partner by the end of the night so the sooner you step aside and let me through the sooner I can do that

Steve: I understand but you're gonna have to look somewhere else because Selena is having her birthday party in there and from what I understand you weren't invited

Justin Bieber: * Stepping in* Yo, yo Steve!

Steve: There he is! The guest of honor! *High fives Justin* Hey bro, once Selena sees you here she's gonna go crazy!

Miley: Really? This guy isn't even supposed to be here! And he's not even that cute either *wipes sweat off her face*

Justin: Aww what happened, Miles? We used to be so close. Seems like ever since me and Selena started dating you're like some kind of possessed monster out to destroy her!

Miley: Oh that is sooooo not true! You take that back!

Justin: Just telling it like it is. Anyway, guess I'll see you around again. Best of Both Worlds right? The pay-per-view named after you? Hopefully by that time we can actually talk the way we used to *Steve opens the door and let's Justin inside.

Miley: By any chance, you wouldn't happen to wanna be my partner for tonight would you, Steve?

Steve shakes his head saying "No". Miley grunts and storms off.

Rhett and Link are walking down the hall carrying their tag team championships over their shoulders. They stand outside the Jonas Brothers locker room. The annoying fans that harassed the Jonas Brothers last week meet up with them.

Annoying fan #2: After this, you better pay us for last week too. I had to get dragged through mud trying to hold on to that guys leg!

Link: You'll get all the money and more I can assure of that! Just make sure you get this job done right now and then we'll start talking about money

The annoying fans knock on the door as Rhett and Link hide in a corner. Kevin answers the door.

Kevin: Oh hey... it's you guys again... how'd you get back here?

Annoying fan #1: We snuck in!

Annoying fan #2: Yea we're really sorry about tackling you guys in the mud and stealing your underwear but we're just really really really big fans! All we want is an autograph... and maybe one or two dozen pictures!

Kevin: Well I'm sorry but Joe and Nick are at Selena's party right now and I'm.... uhm.... allergic to autographs! That's right... I'm allergic to autographs.... and taking more than one picture per week!

Annoying fan #3 jumps on Kevin followed by the others as he calls for security. Security tries to get the annoying fans off of Kevin.The annoying fans steal Kevin's underwear and possessions and runs off with it. The security guards chase after the fans. As Kevin is on the floor Rhett and Link walk up toward him.

Rhett: *sarcastic tone* Oh my! What in the world happened here?

Link: This is unacceptable! You guys are supposed to have a match against us at the Best of Both Worlds! How can we have a match if you guys are hurt! Don't worry Jonah we'll take good care of you buddy! *drags Kevin into the locker room and shuts the door behind him.Kevin's screams are heard along with cartoonish crashing*

We go to Carmen Electra and Wrestlingjesus2011 on commentary

Carmen: A lot going on backstage for sure. Right now we gotta everyone about last week and what happened with Lindsay Lohan. Everyone who saw last week seen how Lindsay was stoned out of her mind and could not have a match with Bohosolo. We can assure you she is now in rehab trying to get better and we certainly hope she recovers soon.

Wrestling Jesus: I'm sorry but that's a load of shit. I know you care about her getting better as much as I do, which is NOT AT ALL! Alright? I can guarantee you once she's out of rehab she'll be sitting next to me in my apartment getting higher than a mother fucking kite! Huh

Carmen: Don't doubt it. Well right now we promised you this earlier and now you have it! The first exception to CCW that has formerly competed as an active wrestler. Dwayne Johnson is right

Wrestling Jesus: It's about fucking time! Huh.

Dwayne Johnsons theme plays and the crowd goes wild. To the disappointment of the live attendance and many watching at home, Dwayne appears on the big screen instead in his rocky gear.

Dwayne: Finally.... FINALLY THE DWAYNE HAS COME BACK TO..... his living room?*pauses* hold on a second...*takes off his sun glasses and rock t-shirt* Much better! Hello ladies and gentleman, my name is Dwayne Johnson. Formerly known as "The Rock". At one point I was the self-proclaimed "People's champion!" let's see what else was it... "The most electrifying man in all of sports entertainment" ... the "Jabroni beating, pie eating, trail blazing, eye brow raising, insert different punch line here" Well to the people that have really been following me you know different. You know that I gave that up years ago to go on to live a more successful life. Do I need to go on with the rest of the story? You all know I went on to become one of the most successful, the most entertaining, and the most electrifying move star in all of Hollywood! I did it without having to break my back, or be on the road 24 hours a day, or suck up to an audience that I could give a damn about. Quite honestly, I had no plans of returning to the ring ever! And you people know it. I've tried many times to drop "The Rock" out of my name. So you might be asking yourself why am I here then? Why did I return to another wrestling promotion? The reason is ain't that hard to figure out! The money! When it comes down to it at the end of the day it's all about the money! All I gotta do is chill right here, tell the people what they wanna har. make an appearance every now and then, and collect a big fat paycheck at the end of the day! That's exactly what I'm doing now! So to all you sheep in the crowd and everyones watching at home, I love you all from the bottom of my heart and you make me who I am and all that other hot garbage. IF YOU SMELLLLLLL...

At that moment a human pig hops out from behind and snatches Dwayne from behind with a chloroformed rag knocking him out then knocks down the camera which falls to the ground revealing some guy holding up cue cards trying to run away before the pig knocks him out.

The woman's champion, Bohosolo is in the parking lot rocking back and forth singing youtube themes. Miley Cyrus is seeing walking, she stares at Boho and walks toward her.

Miley: Hi! What's going on there champ!

Bohosolo: *hyper active* HI!!! What's up? What do you want? How you doing? Does this shirt make me look fat?

Miley: Yea.... well anyway I know we both have a problem right now. Your problem is... well you have a lot of them but right now it's that you have no challengers for your title since that skank Lindsay Lohan is in rehab. My problem is that I don't have a tag partner for tonight. So what do you say we take what we have in common and make it work for tonight? Huh? Huh? Huh? *elbows Boho in the arm*

Bohosolo: *twitching like a manic* Oh wow that sounds super! That's like toally awesome! I mean super duper awesome! I totally can not wait you know!

Miley: Of course you can't.... well just make sure to bring whatever type of craziness you have to the ring with you and I hope your ok with doing all the work

Bohosolo: Work? No one said anything about work! That's not what I agreed to! What kind of world is this!

Miley: Oh did I say work? What I meant to say was... fun! Yea that's it! I want you to go out there and have all the fun in the world!

Bohosolo: I like fun! Fun is awesome! Did you know that fun spelled backward is also fun!

Miley: Yea amazing... well see you out there partner!

Miley walks away while Bohosolo gets excited that she has a friend and rocks back and forth singing "You've got a friend in me"

Match #2 Street Fight Jon Lajoie vs Rhett & Link

Jon Lajoie makes his entrance in his MC Vagina gear. Rhett and Link run down the stage during their entrance. Lajoie waits for them to get in the ring and cracks Link in the mouth with his world belt. Rhett grabs Lajoie from the back and hits a neckbreaker. Rhett helps Link up who has a busted lip already. Rhett and Link dominate the early going of the match hitting double team moves on Lajoie as he tries to fight out. Rhett and Link keep Lajoie down and throw chairs, trashcan lids, and kendo sticks in the ring. As Link slides back in the ring Lajoie smacks him over the head with a steel chair and goes after Rhett. They have a sword fight with the chairs. The numbers get to Lajoie again and Rhett and Link are dominating. Link sets up a table in the corner. Rhett and Link attempt a double slam through the table but The Jonas Brothers (Nick and Joe) come out to help even the odds. In Vince Russo style booking this turns into a cluster of brawling. Joe eventually goes for a huge chair shot on Rhett which ends up missing and hitting Nick. After a bunch of fighting and confusion Jon Lajoie gets a win over Link.

Jamie Lynn Spears is in the woman's restroom washing her hands. In a cliche moment she washes her face then when she looks up Chucky is right behind her sitting on a bathroom stall. Jamie looks unimpressed and turns around with a "Really?" type look on her face.

Jamie: OK, how did you get back here?

Chucky: I find my way around these places. From what I hear... so do you!

Jamie: And what's that supposed to mean?

Chucky: You know exactly what it means so let's not play stupid here alright? I've been watching you closely since I got here. I know you better than you know yourself!

Jamie: Mhm. I thought I seen something lurking the locker room last week. So not only are you some walking, talking, living, psycho doll but you're also a peeping tom too?

Chucky: Hey! *pauses for a second*This isn't about me alright! This is about that dirty little secret of yours. And don't ask me what dirty little secret you know what I'm talking about! I could say it right now for the world to hear but I'm not that cruel! A friend of yours wanted me to give you a little message.

Jamie: *sarcastic* Oh gee I wonder what friend that could be! It wouldn't happen to start with a P and end with a -aris would it?

Chucky: Let's just put it this way, you got something we want and we got something you want. It's as simple as that. Apparently you forgot to send someone a message last week and that certain someone just happens to not be here tonight either

Jamie: My sister is still recovering from what Paris has put her through alright? Losing her US championship, shaving her head, paparazzi attacks, her #1 fan being hospitalized, and being ripped apart every week. She's going through enough of a hard time as it is and she doesn't need to put up with Paris's crap

Chucky: That's a real sad story. If I had a heart I might be crying right now. But you just let your sister know if she doesn't get those problems sorted out by next week, her problems just might turn into your problems. *tosses a VCR tape to Jamie* Feel free to pop that in whenever you get the chance.

Chucky hops off the bathroom stall and quickly crawls out the bathroom door and back to the party going on the other side of the door. Jamie looks at the video tape with a bit of concern on her face.

Selena is opening her presents at her party. She just hugged Jennifer Stone for her present. Holly Madison presents her with her next gift which she opens and reveals it to be a dildo with a playboy bunny symbol on it.

Selena:Gee... thanks... I'll certainly cherish this one...

Kendra smacks the present out of Selenas ands and gets on a megaphone.

Kendra: Alright people that's it! Party is over! The birthday skank has a match up next which she hasn't even prepared for! So everyone get the fudge out and don't let the door hit your fat asses on the way out k thanks bye!

People are exiting the room as Demi meets with Selena.

Demi: You think we have time to get ready before the match?

Kendra: *using the megaphone in their faces* No you don't have time it starts right now so go on now before you make Hugh disappointed

Match #3 Miley Cyrus & Bohosolo vs Selena Gomez & Demi Lovato

Miley persuades Bohosolo to start the match off. Boho is in the match for the majority of the time going back and forth with Selena and Demi who are using this time to prove they have what it takes to hang with the woman's champion. Boho has an impressive showing and hits all her signature moves nearly winning the match a few times. Miley is avoiding being tagged in the entire match and running away whenever Selena and Demi get near her. At one point Selena tells Boho to tag in Miley but she backs off so she can't be tagged. Boho his her finisher on Demi which is a snapmare into a sitdown facebuster. Miley blind tags herself in and throws Boho out of the ring and knocks Selena off the apron to pin Demi while using the ropes for leverage. The playboy ref has no idea that's an illegal pin and counts it anyway and the match is over.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JNbrelr3Mjg
Justin Bieber's theme hits directly after the match and Selena starts freaking out in excitement seeing her boyfriend appear on the show.

Justin: Wow that must not have felt very good! I don't know why she did that but I hope your not too hurt for my birthday present *Selena yells something from inside the ring*Alright then this is for you babe!

The lighting is changed and music plays in the background as Bieber starts to sing Happy Birthday

Wrestling Jesus: What the fuck is this? There is no way in hell I'm gonna listen to this weasel looking dork kill music right in front of me huh

Selena exits the ring although Demi is still down struggling to get up. Bieber continues to sing/rap about Selena's birthday as all the little kids in the crowd go crazy and the men try to boo over his singing. Selena meets Justin at the entrance stage while he's still singing and they look lovingly into each others eyes in such a way that makes you want to punch them both in the face. Wrestling Jesus is seen walking past them covering his ears and knocking down some guy playing the guitar in the background. Demi stares at Selena and Justin from the ring as they share a wet, sloppy, wild, Edge and Lita type make out while fireworks go off and the show goes off the air.

**DramaShark** · 08-08-2011, 08:12 PM

LMAO this is so random and yet so awesome in it's randomness. Selena Gomez main eventing an federation is full of win. I'm still iffy on the fictional characters interacting with real celebrities but that's just me. Very nice job.

**unbeatableone05** · 10-11-2011, 01:30 AM

I love the use of Youtube Stars, I hope you keep going.

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