Promo Disscussion Thread 1/20/12

[Killswitch]

PROMOS ARE DUE TUESDAY 23RD AT 3AM EASTERN TIME. EXTENSIONS ARE 24 HOURS ONLY, LAST DAY TO ASK FOR EXTENSIONS IS SUNDAY 21ST

If you want a review, review other promos please.

[King of Camelot]

i need it, because of work

[The Mac]

lets keep it on topic everyone and give reviews

[Eyesnsane]

Josh: I really like this promo. It seems to be so true to the character as he is portayed. I think it was well written, truthfully I am on pins and needles to see how you develope this guy, hold true to your character. good job.

Mac: This is an angry and empty man. He comes off as a bully pretty well, there are some good heels here, and I can see the potential this guy has. For me I like the establishment of a backstory that you used, letting us know that while new in the FWA you have been around. ( I remember that match you referenced to that was brutal). All in all pretty solid work here.

[The Mac]

thanks eyes and ya i loved writing that match lol

[King of Camelot]

Josh: I like the character seems you have the hold of him ^^ but you didn't really talk about you opponent that much. but after all a good promo.

Eyes: Eyesnane is pretty pised off in the promo i really liked that, he is detemand really spice things up. I have seen you write longer promos, but i guess that will be coming. Looking forward to read more about Eyes and Killmall ^^ should be interessting

Mac: What more is it to say than awesome, i have alwayes loved you promes. Mac is so dark and twisted that i really scares me sometime when i read you promos. i feel a bit sorry for his opponent. since Mac always has the clear goal to end his oppontent in a horrifying way. a great and strong promo, and i also know you cn write long. hehe, but it will come.. hehe awesome..

Drazin: A good promo like it very much, keep it up

KS: great Promo i realy take no on how you and others do their promo so i can learn to be a better rp'er.

JD: Chris Kennedy, love he's figure and the way he is. your promo's are awesome and as i said about KS i take note and learn from the best.

And to all others: Great promo's keep it up i will be following and learing by you all ^^

[The Mac]

josh: it was decent rp but ya didnt focus on mac too much prob cuz he hasnt beeen in fwa long but to me it looked more like u were hyping mac up instead of trashing him

ill give more when they r up

shake: a million times better then ur sonnen crap good back and forth between ryan and dan and covering for your partners failure while ur "bro" points out his screw ups maybe setting seeds for the future, the pun at the end was great and a decent amount of trash about ur opponents so in that regard it was good scenery was slightly lacking but that makes sense in this cuz of what the scenery actually was not much u can do with dinner lol but ya good job

KS: pretty good considering u had a short week in which to write it, looks like r first week since the title win will be a good one lol

[The Full Time Shakey]

Mac: I like this promo. But at the very start, try to describe the characters more for example HOW does Todd approach mac, does he do it timidly, sneakily? Does he surprise Mac? And try to express Mac's anger by conveying to the read just how his manner is backstage. Nice layout to the promo to get Mac's intentions across with Todd interviewing, find it funny how some people never ever think of this simple process. I noticed that Todd says alot about Mac but I can't help but think that maybe Mac could say some of those things for example ''i had nothing left to prove in teh LOW'' other than Todd saying it for him, it takes away from Mac's character a bit. But it's good that you tell us about the LOW, it gives your character some nice backstory, but I fear you might be telling us too much and focusing on the LOW side of things rather than the FWA side of things, remember this isn't a promo against Scar. I like the court speak in the final paragraph, just a sucker for that sort of stuff. Your final paragraph is some good stuff, pretty much destroyed your opponent and everything around them, find a way to stretch that out into quality dialogue you'll be having a title in no time.

[Killswitch]

Alright, as I have time on my hands right now I will review the promos that are up right now.

Josh Hill: Really not sure about this promo. It was alright to me but it never really jumped out to me. The whole scene was something that was good in a way, but it would have been better if it was Josh by himself. If he was by himself it would have been all on him. An empty place with him talking would seem to workout a whole lot better in my eyes. Also, you did talk about Mac, but you never attacked him. You just seemed to say that he was better than you (not in those words mind you). It is a nice thing to say good stuff about your opponent but you can also bash them at the same time.

Over The Edge: Nice short promo. It was a jobber promo so wasn't expecting much. But it was good, shows us that OTE is pissed that they didn't get the titles, and that the FWA is kind of giving them nothing to work with. I liked it.

Mac: Good promo. Like Shake said though, you need to work on the scene. That sets up the whole promo and makes it feel like you are actually there. Tell us what he has on, that helps as well. Still after the scene you did a very good job. You make people hate you and I think that is what you are going for. Anyways, good promo keep it up because you are one of the new recruits that I'm watching.

Duke Drazin: I never want to see you leave. You are so good at making me laugh with your promos. I have always like to read what Drazin has to say. Nothing better than that, keep this up and you might get the title back.

Devin Golden: To be honest you are one of the better people at coming up with different concepts of promos. You just have something new almost every week and I like it. Very creative as usual.

[tmnt316]

APAB - always enjoy how they work off one another and their holier than thou attitude. Screw everyone else they seem to think they always get the job done. Like where you're taking them wanting them to take over the whole fwa too.

Drazin will be around for a while too, even with my 3 or 4 other writing endeavors Drazin is fun to write for.

[The Mac]

ya scenery sucks

[Killswitch]

Alright on to the 2nd part of my reviews:

Chris Kennedy: Great promo. Shows why you are the Champion. Like how you didn't really go after your partner. You did but it was understated so that's good. Also you nailed APAB pretty damn well, sucks that Wolf didn't promo would have liked to see what he brought to the table.

Joey Ortiz: What you had was a good start. I know what happened with you so that sucks. Anyways, I know what you can do with him so I know it will come.

Nolee: An alright promo. Just was expecting more I guess.

Alexx: A good short promo from you, showing you want that title. Good work.

Ryan Rondo: Keep going with these promos. One of the best that I have ever seen from you. Ryan and Dan play off of each other very well. Also showing that you aren't happy with losing the tag match, you might have won one match but you wanted both. Great work.

Cameron Cross: Good short promo from you. Saying that it was your reason they lost. Good work.

Jennifer Sky: I like it, you are getting better and better. I want to see it more and more of you. Great work.

[Wolf]

Welcome back, naughty boy. I thought that you won't make the deadline