Promo discussion thread back in business vii

[Swinny]

XXX: Golden's promo was top notch and so was this one, at least as far as the speaking parts go. You summed everything up nicely, XXX's feeling towards Golden, their history and everything this match means and the stretchers were a nice touch. The only thing is Golden is SO good at the descriptions and you didn't do much of that, but everyone has their different style and it'd be hard to beat Golden at his own game, so maybe that was a best way to go anyway.

Sarah Wolf: Wolf, I said Golden might be the best at descriptions and I think you might be the best at opening and introducing your promos. Both this and the Wolf one started off really great and really brought you into the scene and I've always thought that was a huge and very important part of this game. The speaking parts were great, really liked how you had Wolf talk about Dinorah because Sarah couldn't "sully herself by mentioning her name". I was a bit worried about that at first that you'd have Wolf talk for her the entire time, but you didn't and just doing that bit was great, including refering to Dinorah as "it". And then once you did start talking as Sarah it was more of the same and great stuff. One thing though, I don't know how long you've been doing the blue text for this character and if no one else has a problem with it, it's all good, but I found it very hard on the eyes and feel like it may deter some people from reading some of your promos.

Thomas Driver: You have not one, but two great characters here. The back-and-forth between Thomas and Mario is great stuff, I've seen people fail miserably at this sort of thing, but you do it very well. I think you should have mentioned your opponent more though, even though he didn't mention Driver much either and you did have the solid "Mike Failure" line. Other than that though, some good stuff, good back-and-forth, like I said, and some good lines in there too.

Over the Edge: Good stuff, great job alternating between each character and great job talking about your opponents and your history with them, really solid tag team promo overall.

[Swinny]

Alexx: Good job, like the three parts, all showing different sides to things. I think the first part, in the school, showing the different between Alexx then and now and how things have changed was the best of the three.

Alana Allure: You did a nice job portraying your character both as the champion and the underdog and the fact that despite she has the title she still has a lot to prove and intends to do just that. Like EeL said, this character has come a long way since LOW and you've gotten a lot better at writing as her.

Dinorah Redgrave: JD, you're definitely the best at the visual aspects of promos and this one is fantastic. Especially the first one with showing the Back in Business poster on her back, very cool and nicely done, the blue tunnel part was great too. Great job talking about all your opponents and the match, spent some good time on each and summed everything up nicely. Great promo overall.
Cameron Cross: Good job putting yourself over as the North American Champion and while Pittsburgh may have been a good backdrop and made sense because you are the North American Champion, with the event being in London, I think you could have done some great things being the North American Champion in Europe, could have made for some great moments. But you did well talking about your opponents and the match, as well as showing all the past moments that built up to this match.

Ayla El: Nice opening and you are definitely one of the best at tearing apart your opponents and you did A LOT of that and did a great job at it. The issue I have though is that's pretty much ALL it was, I felt that there should have been a bit more creativity in it, more moving around and more things going on rather than just staying in the same place and talking for that long.

APAB: There's a rather this team has been absolutely dominate, because you write for them so damn well Drew. You do a perfect job with both guys and going back and forth between them. Really nice touch with the books and explaining how each compared to the match as well. Great job overall and these guys are definitely going to be at the top of the tag team division for as long as you want them to be.

Joey Ortiz: More visual prowness from you JD, loved the water with the sun shining too, another really cool touch. Nice job talking about Joey's past as well as the match itself and your opponents, with the character showing a lot of confidence and knowing why he is the TV Champ and why he deserved that title.

Thomas Princeton: You really tore Lebron apart and it was awesome, lol.

Chris Kennedy: And... we have another visual explosion and the best one yet, as well as your best promo which is to be expected. So much great set-up, awesome descriptions, awesome job talking about the match and your opponents and, well... THIS is why you are the World Champ. Really can't say anything bad about this one.

Jack Severino: Awesome opening, so creepy, so well done. Jack is a great, dark character and those can be some of the best ones if done right and he definitely is. This one isn't as long as your opponents, but that's okay, you did what you wanted to and it didn't really need to be any longer.

Mac: Great opening with the "rebirth" of Mac Michaud. Great job talking about his past and how he needs to move on from it as well as talking about the match and your opponent and the whole thing was full of the typical Mac Michaud intensity as well, I think he gets getting more intense and the character just keeps getting better, really.

Ryan Rondo: Great job building yourself up as the champion, talking about all the people you've beaten compared to Mac and all the champions you've beaten, while also staying in the present and talking about the match at hand instead of getting carried away with the past. Like Mac, you took the "rebirth" angle, only this time with the X-Division and the X-Division title and did it very well.

[The Mac]

thanks swinny i thought it was good to show the fwa ppl how mac started like all the uow people know from my prison promo but i shortned it and put it in the gym lol i liked my sscenery and i hope to advance on it

[The Epicicity]

Just wanted to say great promos guys, it's clear that FWA is still evolving and many of you who are still around have improved leaps and bounds since I last saw you role play.

[JD]

Thanks TE. It's great to get some feedback from a seasoned veteran such as yourself.